This is a fairly interesting place, interesting enough to pop in...
Instead of an Hello I'm new thread like it seems to be traditionally used to introduce yourself that tells you nothing but that I'm here I'll rather share a thought, or in this case, a short story with you.
Why? Because your "hello I'm new and a psycho/ a socio/better than all of you fags threads are fucking pathetic.
1
She couldnt sleep again. It was a cold night, too cold even for November, and the wind played with the dark, heavy curtains in front of the open window. Their red color usually made her feel like a princess; she loved how the reflections of sunlight drew light red pattern on the velvet and the dark shades of red and gray it left on the wooden floor panels. But without the light, at nights like this, when the wind blew through the window, they almost seemed to be alive, dark shadows, black, dark red and gray glowing when they caught the moonlight through a cloud. She shuddered, they reminded her of the stories her grandmother told her when she was a child, of demons and monsters that wont let her sleep without checking for them and her grandmother tucking her in, oh Grandma, she thought, the image of the old woman came to her mind and she tried to remember, but it stayed blurry, all she could recall was the warm voice that made her feel nothing but trust and safety, Grandma was watching over her, the monsters wouldnt get her.
She got up to close the window. It was getting too cold, she wouldnt be able to sleep like this. She could hear the rain falling, the big drops reflected the light of the street lights in front of her window, suddenly lightning, bright, like daylight, a second later everything was drowned in darkness again, then thunder. Since back then, when Grandma told her a tale about a dragon and a princess... She couldnt remember. She just knew that it was lightning that killed the dragon, and since that day she couldnt stand thunderstorms, they made her feel helpless and small, like a child again, when Grandma had to hold her until the storm was over. Later, when Grandma wasnt there anymore – she just left, thats what her mother told her, Grandma left, she's on a journey, she'll be gone for a long time, my darling, don't cry, Grandma will be back, one day, we just wait for her, she'll be back, dont worry. Of course Grandma never came back, like Grandpa never did, oh how she hated him for leaving her alone and never coming back to kiss her goodnight, how could he just leave his little princess and not even answer a single letter she sent him – later, when she understood why her grandparents never came back, she was still afraid, it was one of her childhood fears she never overcame. But then he was there, and he would ask her to go back to sleep, wrap his arms around her, make her feel safe, he'd protect her and whisper in her ear, I'm here honey, nothing's gonna happen to you, don't worry, you're safe, I'll protect you, until she fell asleep. Now that she was alone, all alone, she couldnt be that weak anymore, no one would hold her, no one would watch over her. She knew that she was too old to act like a child anymore, this time she'd have to get along on her own, and she knew she shouldn't think of him and her grandmother and her family, she knew it was too late for that, but nevertheless she laid on her bed, closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her, imagined he was there to hold her one more time. It made her feel less sad, but it wasn't the same. The memories she had tried to forget came back, images, voices, feelings, like a storm in her mind, faster and faster, the storm became a hurricane, she couldnt grab a thing or identify a voice, they became louder, mixed together, impossible to understand more than maybe a word, the images melted together, the voices were familar, faces, the places, she knew them all but couldn't name one of them. She stared at the ceiling, trying to stop the images from rushing through her mind, but it was stronger than her, a tsunami flooding her mind, until everything seemed to be so far away, darker, like she was watching it through a wall of water, and the voices became quieter, screaming became whispering, the tsunami turned into waves on a beach, the waves and the whispering, just a dream, the dream faded away as she fell asleep.