Do it, faggot
I also have issues with impulse control -- violence, indulgence, etc., etc.. It's so easy in the moment to give yourself permission, in a sense. What has worked for me is just finding a way to give you a wider and wider moment between impulse and action. First watching for triggers, assessing them, finding out their nature and strength. Keep a journal kinda like you are both the scientist and the subject. Of course, don't start dissociating, you're just making observations. From there apply this observational sort of state into impulse at real time, building that space and letting energy disperse and reason to return. I'm sure you get the gist.
(I find this ironic, though, since discipline is the very difficulty one is trying to overcome by using discipline. It's more about trying to trick yourself or treat it like a game, maybe.)
If you haven't seen the movie Session 9, I think you should look into the "Simon" character in it, for a fairly apt representation of this kind of "permission" or "voice" that pops up to assuage hesitation. (The character is one of a few alters of some poor woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder, or multiple personality.)
His explanation to the psychiatrist why he killed the woman's brother (don't forget this is from an alter's point of view): "Because Mary let me, doc. They always do."
When I was younger I was impulsive. I felt pain in my head, when I put out my aggressive impulses. but impulsivity helped me to train well in the service of the army and police. but with age, my impulsivity vanished somewhere. most likely due to the reception of sedative medications, or maybe because I'm older and my body began to produce less hormones.
P.S: sorry for shitty english :)
I'm pretty baked at the moment, so I won't be able to reply to everyone's posts.. This forum is the real deal though: different people with different opinions, but brought together by this gift.
I've been binge-watching Dexter (very enticing so far), and I might try out a similar 'release', not on people obviously haha, something much smaller.
I want to know what it feels like to 'do it', but at the same time there's a chance it'll make me want more, you know?
The thing to remember is that, say you try my plan of taking an immediate action that normally satisfies you, it won't work if you haven't logically accepted that this is your plan because it is the smartest course of action for you because it is what will truly benefit you the most in the long run.
You can try any method out there, if you can't see a system that holds more value to you than your desires, eventually your desires will win.
Logic is a bitch.
I had a real problem with my impulse control during my "upper" phase. I would be so energetic and full of schemes and ideas, and I'd hit that next high and bam, there came the will to accompany the plan.
A few narrow misses, but I knew I got lucky. I have to have a routine, if I get to scheming I immediately make myself do one of my releases that I enjoy to stop the process, it's almost instinctual now, I either go right to my speed rope and punching bag and start working combos and endurance, I go shoot, occasionally just a good ol gaming session with friends, or even a nice rewarding night out for a conquest on the town to refresh my palette.
The point is I force myself to immediately take action, and it's a wide array of actions because I know if I do the same thing everytime eventually I will get bored and start mulling over those forbidden thoughts again.