Among the masses, I'm detached but observational. When it's simple business that needs being done, people are buzzing things in and out of my attention -- obstacle, distraction, a step toward a goal, etc. Any depth beyond that is pretense in order to either achieve a goal or circumvent a needless complication. Any nuance is predicated by my mood and variables of momentary consequence.
If my life is goin fine and i have no urgent matter at hand, i would either ignore them and listen to music as i walk by, or if they are in my way i will feel a sudden adrenaline rush and a voice telling me to cut their heads off. Luckily the voice is weak. At times i would notice a girl with nice style, then i would look at her face and if its good, i'd look at her cleavage, after that at her shoes. If i see a girl i like, i casually look at said girl, because she is just gorgeous. I do not get any sexual attraction per se, just from looking at such a girl, but they are pretty like a piece of art.
If i am preoccupied thought, i wont even notice a gun maniac telling me to drop on the ground. Like i care about his fucking shit. Once i zoned out like that while getting something done, i was just standing there looking at the nothingness, till they told me to sit, i didn't even notice i was standing, i was thinking then. Thinking is hard(just ask any far-left voter).
I see people. I'm always watching or studying them. Same as I study myself. Always trying to figure out what makes them tick. I didn't realize until just recently, after being diagnosed correctly for the first time, why people become my puzzles. It's a matter of trying to compensate for not being able to process information a certain way, and also a fixation. I try not to see myself as an "other", or on the outside of being a "people". But as it turns out, I kind of am outside. Not alone, but also not connected to a majority.
I have reason to believe that everyone is nothing, but part of my dream/world. Yes i do feel speacial amongst "them" and i feel like a god...I can only care for close people and animal the rest of them could go kill themselves and i wouldn't give a shit. Hmmm oh yea i feel as if i'm in control of people (since they're so easy to manipulate) and that they're just here to influence me to do something...i'm not sure of that something yet...
I do notice them in the sense that I need to get around in the most non contact way possible, but I don't actually think about them. I'd be more able to describe what they wore, what shoes they have on and definitely if they had any pets.
Sometimes, and I'm sorta ashamed to admit this, if they have a dog I stop and make eye contact and smile at the owner and ask if I can pet the puppy. Usually if they just had a passive or neutral face the owner perks up and kinda gets happy and says yes and they make some sort of small talk that I'm not interested in unless its about the puppy(name/breed/personality).
Occasionally when I buy tea at a coffee shop I'll sit down and somewhere between stirring honey into my tea and just looking at the decor, I'll zone out and when I get back to it I realize I've been staring at someone during my zone out, or that I've been there for much longer than I had in mind. Its sorta disorienting.
I noticed I also tend to sit closer to exits
The rare times that I do people watch I find myself trying to read their body language and failing, but I don't feel special- perhaps a tad bit out of place whenever its an area with mostly couples or families and single people moving with purpose while I sit and do absolutely nothing
Anal Thrasher stated: source post
I do notice them in the sense that I need to get around in the most non contact way possible, but I don't actually think about them. I'd be more able to describe what they wore, what shoes they have on and definitely if they had any pets.
Sometimes, and I'm sorta ashamed to admit this, if they have a dog I stop and make eye contact and smile at the owner and ask if I can pet the puppy. Usually if they just had a passive or neutral face the owner perks up and kinda gets happy and says yes and they make some sort of small talk that I'm not interested in unless its about the puppy(name/breed/personality).
Occasionally when I buy tea at a coffee shop I'll sit down and somewhere between stirring honey into my tea and just looking at the decor, I'll zone out and when I get back to it I realize I've been staring at someone during my zone out, or that I've been there for much longer than I had in mind. Its sorta disorienting.
I noticed I also tend to sit closer to exits
The rare times that I do people watch I find myself trying to read their body language and failing, but I don't feel special- perhaps a tad bit out of place whenever its an area with mostly couples or families and single people moving with purpose while I sit and do absolutely nothing
What is up with sociopaths and animals? I'm coming up witg a new theory...Sociopaths are animal souls in a human body which is why they like animals so much...i can relate.