A few years ago, I finally lost control of myself. I was going through a rough break up. My actions finally caught up with me. All the lying and sadistic hold I had on my ex were exposed. I don't think hurting him made me feel bad. Getting caught had. I do have my limits, even as the monster I am. I threatened to out my ex to his family because I suspected he fell for someone he met while we were still together. He keylogged my phone, and had his friends play with my mind. What I did was messed up. I did it to someone else afterward. I guess I can't help hurting people I feel hurt me. I do stop though. I move on. I just can't seem to break the cycle. I haven't dated in a while. Perhaps I never should. Can I move on though? Is that possible? Have any of you found that you've made a mess you wish you never made because the consequences seem unbearable?
Dear MoonMoon,
It seems to me that you were had by your ex boyfriend whom is much more likely to be a sociopath than yourself. I mean, there is a difference between licking his anus while he expresses his disapproval and being ass fucked against your will while his friend watches you two. With that in mind I suggest you look into PTSD. It would also explain your anxiety to form new relationships. At least that is my current impression. You should elaborate on what you did to these people.
Also, you were perceptive enough to notice that not all people here are sociopaths (some are psychopaths ;3), so you are welcome to stick around. It should help you figure yourself out and whatnot.
Cheers.
