Do you think it's possible for a child who is hypersensitive to create a opposing personality in order to protect themselves. A personality that is very similar to that of ASPD, but not be aware of this later in life?
This is something I have been pondering about myself. I asked my mother about this. She said the only thing that stands out to her about when I was very young. Was that I didn't cry allot and that I didn't need to be held or pampered as much as my brother did.
What about oppressed memories. Do you think I can have oppressed memories from my childhood even though I'm consciously aware that it's possible?
You said something awhile back that has come up before in therapy. About whether or not I was molested as a kid. Because of what I made my brother do.
I'm no longer required by law to see my shrink anymore. I brought the subject up once and he said that memories are suppressed for a reason, and that it wouldn't be productive for me to dig up the past.
I don't recall any such things in my past.
It's true that someone sensitive can put up an adaptively protective front, even if it's not being consciously done, as a form of shield for their increased sensitivities. A person tends to numb through jading themselves to their experiences, gaining a tolerance overtime through the experiences themselves. Someone sensitive will be hit harder by strife, so it can be safe to say that they might jade that much harder, work that much harder than otherwise if they don't end up just perpetuating their sensitivity through avoidance.
Sensitivity in that way offers less room for a gray area, from what I've seen. Compensating for the strife of life is a balancing act of sorts, and those with mental afflictions tend to work that much harder to get over their problems in favor of blending in and not making a scene. "I don't care" tends to be the protective mantra of such types from quite the opposite being true.
Personally I'd say I am quite sensitive, but from living life I've been conditioned that much more not to be. Every failure because of it was a reminder of why I couldn't let myself be that way, and by choosing not to ignore it an increased tolerance against it formed. The shield I carry can no longer be lowered by choice.
"She said the only thing that stands out to her about when I was very young. Was that I didn't cry allot and that I didn't need to be held or pampered as much as my brother did."
My folks said I was also rather easy as a baby and as kid, but that didn't negate the existing sensitivity. I also had sleep difficulty back then too, so that might have been a factor, but most of my sensitivities were an internal struggle as opposed to an outwardly obvious thing. If anything, said sensitivity was likely internalized from being too afraid to let others see it.
The only definite experience I have with memory repression are elements of my own. My mind tried to internalize some abuse I went through, but I was old enough to recognize that and try to combat it. Fighting that urge to let it become forgotten however made for more visibly damaged symptoms, but it was necessary to jade past it and not remain a victim of it for any longer than I had to. A "rip the bandage" sort of thing.
The best way to describe it is that the symptoms of the event stick while the event itself becomes harder to recognize, growing gradually blurrier with time until it's cognitively not able to be accessed.
There's a lot about ourselves that we don't recognize.