Hang in there. I went through a similar experience, never charged though. It's going to be dark for awhile, but you will come out of this shit eventually and you'll be a lot stronger from it.
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Because clicks are good and negative attention is fun. I'll just drop the bomb for your very own entertainment. Prepare popcorn and diet-coke.
I got charged for stalking. You know that thingy that stupid brainless fools do.
tl;dr sad shit. Sadfag was lovefag become masterfag and has 30-fake roses
And that was actually the only bad deed I ever did in my life. There are several good deeds i also did, so I probably have some heaven points.
The whole thing began several years age, when i was in my shitty past and was a victim of abuse, i was like the weird dude everyone wanted to pick on. So probably I'm like you.
I was born as a preemie and if I had the choice I would want to be born as a stillbirth, because I'm done with questioning my life, there is no answer. There is only empty space. I live for no reason.
Also I have a chronic immune disease, am sort of gifted and to complete my shittly life I suffer on a lack of concentration. What a autistic basterd I'm.
I'm the opposition of the opposition, the rock bottom of human society.
Well, that was me and is me. In my past I was at a somewhat elite-school full of assholes, where I was part of the system called society. I was never and I wanted never to be a guy who is into fame, because that is not my game. I just wanted to draw and listen to music and reading comics. So it was easy to victimize me.
This game called mobbing was fun for my offenders, it was probably the only thing where my offenders could succeed. And because you're only strong if you pick up the weak.
So does it sound sad? This is just the beginning. Sadfag begins.
To escape my environment and to have at least some freedom I changed my living place to a city nearby, so I could at least live outside of school without the people who abused me.
Still this didn't do good, I still had pain and fear. My nerves, myself i was broken, I thought about a escape, thought about being dead. I dead victim is a bad victim, makes sense.
But one thing changed something, it was when I first used the bus in the city, where I saw someone, something that saved my life the moment I saw it. Yeah, I'm hinting it has tits and a soft voice.
So I saw a girl, I saw her blue shirt, her cheap pants and her necklace. She wasn't or she did not won in the lottery of life. Ironically I'm part of the top layer, my parents are classy and my father is sort of a important sonofabitch.
Back to the part where i saw the holy grail, it was, she was the thing that lighted my day. I don't know if it was her voice, her articulation, her personality but i was flashed by her.
It was so fucking random, if that didn't happen, I would not write this autistic shit now.
As you can think, or if you can think I don't have the cojones of a mexican luchadore so I never spoke to her. Okay, actually I spoke to her, when she asked me if she could sit beside me in the bus.
God have mercy, also she had sort of a strange behavior, when it was could outside, she hesitated to wear the jacket she had with her, that made me so curious. One day also, she was very late and then I touched the emergency stop in the bus, so I could see her. Does this count as a bad deed?
Okay, now you think, what could I do to get the one piece? I could do nothing.
Instead i was able to befriend friends of her, like fuck i was so close, but still far away.
And then after 5 years of stupid, of shit and of the hell what will happen ... I don't want to fail at this, I spoke to her in the gym because I developed mucho impressive muscles and I looked buff.
And I was even able to get a date with her at the seaside and could spend a bit over 2 hours with her.
The muscle thing did work. But because I'm still the biggest retard around i was not able to get the princess. Fuck, I even was so stupid and I said no when she asked me to go with her to a bar, I even left my pack with flowers accidentally in a locker because the locker room was closed. And I had no room to sleep that day, because my mother stealth-vacated my apartment.
Fuck my life. I had fucked up. But when I chatted with her after the date, it looked that I did not fucked up completely.
But I still have no cojones, so I chatted with her, did send her drawings, did faggie thing stupid man do.
And then one day, when I tried to ask her out I was declined with a stupid senctence and got excuses. When I asked her before, she said she had no time because au-pair-dipshit, or she was sorry because she didn't saw the message and she was really sorry.
Fuuuuuk. After that she argued with me, I accidentally hit a nerve one time and she even deleted her FB-account because I was able to get into her account. (I never touched her privacy actually)
To sum it up, she did lie, that she was engaged after 1 month and so on, or she roughly treated me with bad excuses.
I just wanted to talk to her really bad and I was awful sorry the whole time.
So this shit did go a long road down. And then some day I was charged for a silly reason, it still was no big deal. And then weeks later, she had only one follower on her Instagram-account(her family member) and me, she changed her picture to a engagement ring.
That caught me really hard, like fuck - like I'm in hell - like I probably was Hitler.
So I did drive one week after I got my driving license the day down when she changed the profile picture to see if she really was engaged. Hint: she was not, no cock, no ring.
I had fear to see her, so i just collected information, I didn't want to fright her. I avoided her, I just wanted to know why she did that.
Then 2 weeks after that, I did drive to her and I did bring flowers with me. I ringed at the entrance of the housing and did hide 1 yard away. But I was curious about the flowers, so I did go back and then I brawled with 4 cops and yeah, fuck me and fuck the state. Because when I saw her outdoors i tried to run away (from her) and I ran into cops.
So because of this several weeks ago, I was at the court, where she stated at a live camera-interrogation that she don't want to think about it, because it causes problems. I nearly died that day. And I tried to take my life with razors, I survived.
And to fuck this up, her twin-sister did write to me with the knowledge that I'm her sisters stalker 2 weeks ago.
I forgot: when we meet, she spoke about roses she won as a children, actually she won the roses at her birthday. So i collected the same fake-roses she won on her birthday weeks ago by winning 30 fake-roses.
So which kind of trick makes suicide look like modern art? I like Kurt Cobain.
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