Sociopath Community

There's probably no point in responding to the diatribe here.  While exercising her right to expressing her thoughts and feelings, Sin gives no indication that she WANTS a response, is looking for one, or is even willing to entertain an alternate perspective.  It's a dare.  A challenge.  An attitude.  Let reality win here.  The emptiness of what she sees in existence will fill up with her perception and she'll be sticking hashtags on everything with that judgment in operation.

Things are inevitable, because they look that way.  She is being squeezed between what looks like irresolvable paradox, to her.  She's taking the negative view of that.  I like to look at it with a "positive" nihilism.  The emptiness is a place of ultimate freedom and creative potential.  It only feels like a burden with the belief of purpose and meaning being valued more than they really ought to be.  The entire universe and existence itself is a playground between paradox.  Free will and choice are their most meaningful where you find paradox.  You help shape this binary existence.  Anything and everything below levels of infinity, eternity and totality are arbitrary and only important by relative measures to one another.  (Actually, from the point of view of totality and eternity and infinity and absolutism, everything is arbitrary.  All things are simply the result of choice.  Such is the apparent power of God: pure will.  The very first, initial superposition of all possibilities, then the power to separate one from the infinitude and start throwing the 1's and 0's around into pattern and form.  This is the role of free will: enacting to resolve superpositions into binary patterning.)

If it worries you, if it bothers you, if it matters to you, remember you're just a fucking hairless ape with delusions of meaning, importance and purpose.  This isn't bad.  This helps you remember what you're so-called responsibilities are: whatever you want to make of them.  Terence McKenna has said, "Where is it writ large that anthropoid apes should have any idea about the nature of reality?"

We all grow up eventually.  If I can get through the existential tensions of life, so far, anyone can.

A shortcut to meaning in life is faith. Although it for most people is a intellectual dishonest thing to bring yourself to have and in many cases is not the end state of finding meaning in life it is a way to counter meaninglessness and nihilism.

Be it faith in a personal concept of God or faith in a destiny.  

The best possible option is meaning in life without betraying logic faith can save you. 

the problem with life is that it happens. shit happens to you that you can't control, you're going along, and all of a sudden shit gets flung at you, and you're like what the fuck?/ yeah. i hate it. i just hate every little single fucking bit of it, i hate all of the lousy lowdown people who inhabit this godforsaken rock and i hate the powers that be and the inevitablility of fate and the sheer mindless happening of everything, how everything just happens with no rhyme or reason and it's all so empty, it's like a dead shell. death and destruction and horror and mayhem abound, why stay alive for the good parts when they're just going to get taken away from you anyway?? you toil and you drudge and you work your life away for a happiness that never comes, all this life spent for the money, making money, spending money, buying things, endless stuff, so much stuff, but what does it even matter?? it just disgusts me and i hate all of it. i slit my wrists so i can feel pain, something that's real, pain is real, nothing else in this fake world is quite like pain.

they put me in the "mental hospital", so that they can "cure" me. cure me from what?? no, you need to cure the world, motherfucker. i wake up every morning and i feel that deadness in my chest, it's like a dead hole inside me, there's nothing that will fill it anymore. it goes away in the mindless drudgery, sometimes, consciousness becomes blurry and not quite here. but not enough.

the one thing that brings me pleasure is my special interests, they're like the only thing at all that's good. i can feel even that passion fading though, compare my lust for fire hydrants and bottle caps and native plants at a young age to my halfhearted interest in computers now.

it's just getting harder and harder to make me feel anything good.

Awwww, little sin is having her first existential crisis! So sweet! I wonder if she's going to become a delusional fuckwit or figure out that life itself is intrinsically worthless 

That's the paradox of the situation: the "intrinsic worthlessness" is not that it can't have worth, but that it can have whatever worth you want it to have.  Reality comes free of all qualifiers until it meets with an active agent of interpretive capabilities and decision-making capacities: you, me, people.

I think Sin will eventually get it.  She's rubbing up against some pretty bleak-looking, static and stale walls, it seems.  The great thing about this reality, too, is that it is self-corrective.  Make it or break it.  Sometimes you break it to make it.

The meds might be kicking in.

http://www.chuurchofapathy.com/

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."