Sociopath Community

what are you actually asking? and why are you asking here?

She lies about everythign!

She is 27 allow her to live the life she wants to lead.

Any input or suggestions would be much appreiated.  She is 27 years old.  Unmarried with a boyfriend of 4 years.  This is her 3rd BF.  Each time its been the same story.  She meets a guy.   Within a couple of weeks she moves off and in with him or his family and we never see her.  well more him.  She tells him all sorts of stories as to why we are all crazy and he stays as far away as he can.  We see our daughter for all sorts of things but never with her BF.  She insist on keeping him as part of her "Other' life.  Sure she might tell us snippets and things but he never comes in.  He waves at the door and they leave.  She is also a pathological liar.  About everythign.  She keeps everythign a secret. No matter what.  Doctors appointments, a trip to Walmart, picking up some shoes, etc.  Her communication skills suck.  

She is ruining our family.  For Thanksgiving, she might show up as promised or not.  If she does, she might behave badly and leave.  She may not show up at all.  Or come at the late and not talk and just leave.  Birthdays, special events, promises she's made.  Its all over the place.  Threats sometimes work. But she will lie somehow or behave so badly you wish she wasn't there.  She badmouths me to her brother and her brother to me.  Her brother to her father and her father to us, etc. etc.  She's always apologetic but then does it more.  Its getting far far worse.  We love her and want her in our family.  One day she will have children and we want them to be in our lives.  But how?

Is it best to just keep forgiving her and not get mad?  Always know she\s likely to let us down?  Not lend money to her?  Or is best to get mad and forgive her always and quickly?  Or let her think a bit.  Problem is, when we are upset with her, we just don't see her at all.  Nothing.  for months.  It diesn't seem to sink in.  

Are we better to just drop by all the time, daily and be with her?  As she never shows when she says.

She never asks for help or tells us about her life.  Is it best to keep trying to get through to her and hope it will one day stick?

Should we have a long and serious conversation with her BF and ask for his help?  By now he knows there's seriously something wrong and he loves her, but he thinks its him.  She does that.  

We've also noticed that she will do (usually) what she says she'll do if we remind her about it daily or more often.  She does't seem to get upset but its very taxing to have to do so.

Please, any suggestions would be welcome.

Acting like that at that age is abnormal enough to indicate something other than just your average "free spirit" or badly behaved person. However seeing as she has had a relationship for 4 years this is indicative that she is able to maintain relationships at least to some degree.

Maybe she simply dislikes someone in the family and dose not want ties to them. That would explain many of these behaviors while rationalizing them and not portraying her as a irrational/disturbed person in any way.

On the other hand many people don't appreciate their parents attention and love because they don't realize what they have and assume it will always be there on her terms.

I guess some information about how she was as a child would be extremely helpful. Did/dose she steal, ask for money often? How did you get along before? How was she in school?

I completely despise parents like you. People should have the choice to live how they please, well, some people if you know what I mean (JK). There are so many attractive people, you'd want a little of everything. Can't be too greedy, leave a little for everyone. 

P.S- I really hope that isn't your real name. Some people here are really obnoxious.