Why not?
by DaddyYou have the order of someone who's inexperienced in these matters.
The first step isn't choosing to own someone, infact that's usually the last step... or second to last depending on whether or not you choose to discard them afterwards.
The first step is exposure, familiarizing yourself with the subject. If you are truly a "Dominus" you don't need to let them know you own them. Your demeanor will say it all, it will pull them to you. This first step of exposure is an evaluation of them, a chance for you to survey their qualities and determine their worth. They may just be a one night fuck toy or perhaps not worth your time at all.
This process of exposure may take minutes or months. During this time, you may allow her to gain favor over time, by offering her opportunities to please and pleasure you. (Do you see the shift in how you are approaching this and how a real Dominus does?)
This is a simple game of cat an mouse, of incitement and withdrawal. The generation of wanton anticipation. Your job is to simply generate a scenario where they can chase. They want to chase, they want to want. But their affections must not be sated, they must be forever in a tantric trance of hungerful lust... Until the moment that you do allow them to cum all over you... and then you must start the process over again... and again... until you get bored with her and decide to release her.
If she's good enough however, she may earn the title of being owned by you... she may obtain the honor of wearing your collar, but only if she proves good enough... over... and over... and over again...
Their being owned is a privilege not something you chase after, but rather something they should aspire too.
As a sub.... I would beg this man to fuck the brains out of me. If he denied me the pleasure, I would bend over backwards to earn it.
This man is a Dom.
thesugargirl: "why is it that all that 'dominant' guys here act like little bitches with no self esteem?"
A lot of "dom" types are just as, if not more, insecure than their sub counterparts. It takes more strength to admit to weakness than to make claims of power and dominance.
Self proclaimed "doms" who possess no power are some of the most hilarious people to poke fun at. For such people, they need someone to be a slave or an underling for themselves to not feel inadequite, likely built up through others in their lives reinforcing that thought through a life of being mocked for their own weaknesses. That lets them feel as if they are powerful when they, in fact, are quite weak for needing it the way that they do, possibly not even knowing how to approach their lust in any other way through a lack of self confidence, grace, or charisma. For them, this boost of ego is so rare that they have in turn fetishized it.
Whenever a dom is complaining about how "untrained" their sub is, what they really mean is that they are too weak to do it themselves. Being a good dom is not easy, and it shouldn't be. A lot of pressure is put on them to do a good job with the control that they have, as otherwise they are just a joke that even the most glassy eyed of subs can find themselves laughing at. When the relationship is working at it's most optimized, both of them are simultaneously spoiling each other and pushing each other into new extremes instead of proxying insecurities and enabling weaknesses. When the relationship is as it should be, they make each other stronger instead.
Aurora Borealis: "The relationship is always about two people. They both need to care about each others needs."
Indeed. Sure someone who rides horses is the one steering, the one in control, but what good would he be without said horse?
What Dominus was talking about is more about D/s than S/M.
What happened... did you read some romantic pop bdsm novels by E. L.
James and think yourself a sub? Dear child, you are clueless. But
that's not really your fault, more than likely you've simply had poor
ownership (if any at all) or you'd know better.
Don't try to analyze me, you can't.
You have yet to be truly owned by anyone, you're still untamed or
perhaps even a Dom in sheeps clothing. You've yet to experience the true
release of submission. If you had, you'd understand what utter nonsense
your post really is.
Based on your opinion. Someone would agree and someone would disagree. That's normal.
I grant you a sub is not weak. Infact quite the contrary. She
sacrifices much both physically and mentally in the name of pleasing her
master.
- you really don't know what you're talking about and it's funny to observe...
However, what you seem to be missing is that you are not the one to
dictate the terms of your relationship. That is for the Dom to decide.
Your job is be what he demands and that is your only purpose.
This is the most common delusion that Dom (or... ehm... bad Doms) have. Wake up.
Now as for other romantic notions of "belonging to your lover" in a
vanilla relationship... That is another matter entirely, one that I
suspect you are confusing this type of relationship for.
The world is not only about fucking submissive girls on your terms. But I think you'll understand one day.
You clearly haven't been properly trained, or you'd understand.
I'm talking about D/s relationship, not just a scene... You are talking about a SCENE. Big difference.
You are confusing good relationship practices with an s/M relationship.
How the relationship flows is dictated by the owner. Period, again it's
not your place to dictate this but a matter of his preference.
The relationship is always about two people. They both need to care about each others needs.
While I personally believe in providing a mutually beneficial
relationship (providing feedback, making fair corrections, proper
training, etc) for my sub, there are some Doms that do not, and this is
their prerogative, not yours. The same is true of any relationship. You
should seek someone that fits you, but again it's not your place to
dictate terms, but to submit.
One word - consent. D/s and S/M relationship should be consensual. While subs "job" is to submit, the really need to want it on the terms you want it.
"How do you choose what you wish to own, approach them,, and let them know that from now on they are to be yours?"
By aiming to become theirs first.
"How do you keep them afterwards? Making sure that as much as you know, there wish for no escape."
I make their lives seem better with me than without, then present myself as the better choice when other contenders try to present themselves.
The adviser, the underling, the cohort, they have power, and with the right language and mindset they possess the means for control over the one holding the reigns even without being the one in charge.