I'M STILL HUNGRY. AND NOW I'M TIRED. :(
He's a genius.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caleb_Lawrence_McGillvary
"what would you do if you woke up with a groggy head, metallic taste in your mouth, in a strangers house... walked to the mirror and seen cum dripping from the side of your face from your mouth, and started wretching, realizing that someone had drugged, raped, and blown their fucking load in you? what would you do?"[28]
I don't about kai, I mean two murders in one year, people really put that guy through the wringer.
OP I think there is seriously something wrong with your temporal lobe. You need tranquilizers. You need to have them to the side ready to go when you start to go insane.
I mean seriously, what if you preaching at us to find salvation in God is a misdirected sense of guilt for whatever you have or have not done. That's potentially really fucked up.
I don't know how to say it other than you don't come across as stable to me. Read up on Temperance and get some tranquilizers for bad days.