Honestly I didn't even realize that Mistress. Sorry when I write when I start out anything in what I think is essay or paragraph format I start with "Abc BUT Defg". I did not realize and next time I will challenge myself to do it.
CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME/YOU
now in general I dont gI've not one shit what people think BUT ask me about someone I care for and that thinking shifts drastically. I will say I don't and at the moment really think it but I do care because if I come to care about a person it's important and it means that for me there is something special there and I don't want to be viewed in this negative light. My ego and pride gets in the way and I shut down because I don't want to listen and I want to say fuck off I'm right. That isn't the case and I know it's not okay.
tell me good people what do you think?
i think humans get a lot of happiness when they are judged positively by others.
i think this tendency can be manipulated. good bosses know that they can incentivise their employees with not just pay, and vacations, but also simply by making the employee think they are valued, and maintaining a positive opinion.
as humans, once we think someone has a positive opinion of us, we tend to like them more, and when their opinion of us goes down (for example if an employee is late on a deadline), they will work even harder to bring it back up...
on the other hand, if you give the impression to someone that you think negatively of them, they will simply dislike you, and they will not work to regain your opinion.
TLDR.. humans are slaves to each others opinions
You felt the need to start with "I normally don't give a shit about what people think,"... Why? Is it important for you to make sure your audience knows this first so they won't think you're sensitive? When you make statements like the first one- you're leading the audience. It's called impression management and means that you want to control people's "view" of you. What would you be feeling right now had you started this thread with: 'I care what people I care about think of me', and left it at that?
Other people's opinions affect the environment around you, so it's kind of important to care at least a little. That being said, the groups of people around me tend to filter themselves out based on my behaviors if it goes beyond the short term, so it all works out down the road by having me just be myself (for the most part). If I pretend to be someone else, said filter shifts with it and I can be stuck surrounded instead with people who demand that mask as social upkeep.
I used to have an issue with this, but I changed my philosophy. If someone likes you, he/she won't care if you're not giving the best impression. And if they did care, it's worth asking yourself whether or not they are worth your caring. People who fail to recognize the value in others or only do so for a chosen few are often silly, and their behaviour tells a lot about them.
Ironically, most people take notice of the fact that you don't need their validation, and respect it.