Sociopath Community

So I officially have my tickets to fly to New Zealand. April 14th I will be leaving the United States for good. Well, as far as living here goes. I look back on the last few years of really hard work I've done on myself, to try and change some of the most unfavorable habits and traits that have held me back from my potential, and know that I've done well. After all, your troubles will follow you where ever you go, if you are the trouble, and I have been.

I don't move to New Zealand thinking everything is going to fall right into place, and I won't have to keep fighting for change. In fact, I foresee things going really well the first year enough for me to get lazy a bit, and then like a recovering alcoholic, I'll have to detox and get back to the business of fighting again. 

I think being in such a beautiful country and having a partner fighting by my side may make the fight a lot less difficult though, and I really want to pursue my writing in this next phase of my life. Writing, I find, has become a therapeutic tool the rest of my life depends on. I'm writing this post while I have a high fever though, so I'm not sure that last phrase makes any sense, or if I even really feel that way for more than the moment. But while it makes sense- let me say that I no longer feel I can stay in a career where I'm having to directly service people. I've become a cunt of a hair stylist, and I also find that I hate running a business. I can't handle the stress levels, responsibilities, and most of all- the having to talk to people all day long. Writing is the most enjoyable thing I do in my life, and I can do it without feeling I'm selling my soul. 

So even though I'm not making a clean break from it once I'm there, I have given myself a cut off date of 20 years- which is in 3 years from this June. I think coming to a site like SC/SW for the years that I have, has really helped take my writing to a whole other level, and I can't wait to flex my fingers once I'm settled in, and finish the book I am currently working on.

All that said; if you moved to a new country with some magical chance to leave certain aspects of yourself behind, so that you could live the life of your dreams- what part of you would you leave behind?

3 more weeks to go, and then I'll probably disappear from SC for a few months again so that I can focus on grounding myself in my new life. I'd say that I'm super excited right now, but I'm too numb at the moment to feel it just yet. I told a client today- "If all the emotions I'm supposed to be having right now suddenly hit me when I buckle my seat belt on that plane- someone may have to hall me off to the NZ loony bend upon landing." :D