This girl. Does she date others for short periods? You notice the top picks are always complete strangers?
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I'm bored and have a whole day to do nothing, so here I go..
If don't want to read the background info and want to get straight to the point, just start at the bold sentence.
I'm a 17 year old male, ending high school, and well-liked (not known) in my school. My family has recently told me I've become a dangerous, malevolent venom to them and dial away to prison.
I know for a long time that I definitely have AsPD, but I wasn't officially tested. To summarize my behavior, I've would call myself the engulfment of the 7 deadly sins. When my mask is on, I am actively an extrovert, craving attention and manipulating masses into respecting and desiring me. I create vivid stories depending on the group to capture their attention and enjoy their inevitable reactions. However, I can feel a bit paranoid, b/c a good amount of time I speak softly so I'm not sure if they are ignoring me or can't hear me.
In sexual situations, I am a huge flirt, and since I know I'm very attractive, I can easily lay my hands and any person I want. Most fun I have is with religious people and loyal girlfriends because of how disobedient I can make them :) I have to be impulsive about it, or else I don't have the motivation to do it later on. Except for one person, I've been able to be gloriously successful in my ensnarement.'
In addition, I've been very naughty. I'm in debt to almost everyone and stolen much if not most of it. Having done some hallucinogens, stimulants, and once alcohol in the most destructive (and fun) ways, I've been in trouble multiple of times and only twice (twice?) with the police (no charges, no record). Since I regularly(playfully) beaten and wounded many people including my family, I don't get very aggressive with imbeciles.
When my mask is off, I have a very flat affect. I seem callous and to the feeble mind, upset. I'm very observant, at times unstably aware. And I'm bored, achingly bored.
In terms of my own thoughts, It's a contradiction. I crave attention, yet hide true objectives. I seek a success, yet can't plan ahead than a hour. Sometimes I want to have sex, yet when I get to that point I want food, and vice versa.
My intelligence is fairly high, despite being in Spec Ed for a long while. Actually, in 5th grade, they gave me the Wechsler iq test and was given 140, yet I wasn't in any honors program due to my poor grades. It seems pretty high, since my English was fairly poor at that time. I found it easier to be act simply intelligent b/c people would develop an inferiority complex.
I know this isn't a full background but I'm not necessarily here for a diagnosis, just a criticism of one particular situation, given my summarized background.
Recently, I've met this girl. Mysterious, not gothic but artistic type, cute girl. At first I just wanted to have sex with her. But after getting her # and finding attention I expected of her pretty easy, I just went in for the kill(sexually). However, she revolted (before any contact), which was surprising She is considered a big challenge to many of my peers, and I can see why.
This is where the question adheres to. I found myself trying fairly hard to get her attention, but seem very confused and sort of unnaturally wimpy. No flirting, no conversation. Just hellos and witty remarks. It was dull and kept progressing. Multiple times I forget about her and multiple times I was sort of obsessing over her. Then, when I was finally able to get in contact with her, I would no idea what to say, and I would awkwardly start conversations. There isn't enough time or energy to right it all down, but bottom line I was a nervous, wimp who ended up getting friend-zoned. Does that still make me the person I always knew I was or am I not a psychopath?
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