why would it mean that?
When ever I'm angry and feel hypomanic I always seem to think of the most amazing fantasies. I've always had the ideal that I'd kill people myself, but that's going about it the wrong way. I always like to have people do things for me. Weather it’s to give me a ride to the grocery store, give me money to go to Seattle, or simply buy me alcohol.
Either way, it’s much more satisfactory to have others do things for me than to do them myself. You could say I’m just lazy and you would probably be right. The point is, why not have other people kill for me.
Why not have somebody that has the same hatred for society and people not only when they’re angry like me, but at all times. It would have to be somebody who’s depressed. Someone who is always at a low and constantly getting worse. Obviously they would have to be less intelligent than I am but not to the point where they couldn’t commit the murders they have planned.
All I have to do is find someone that’s on the edge and give them a little push. It would be so amazing to see what would happen. The beauty of it is I would never have to get my hands dirty. I actually hate it when my hands get physically dirty, like after mowing the lawn or something like that.
I assume the same thing would happen with murder, to get someone else’s disgusting blood on my hands. That’s pretty much all I had on my mind as of now. I haven’t really put much thought into it. Just fantasizing about it as usual. The cool thing about being bipolar is I can think of things that would be socially unexcept-able but still have empathy to the point where I wouldn’t actually do any of those things.
i'm not a lesbian, that's why it's kinda irritating. it seems like these chicks think we have some kind of special bond that transcends my lack of an attraction to them. maybe they tell themselves i'm denying it inside just like they are, and this gives way to some mild rape mentality.
Apparently everyone is upset about the rape scene in a season finale of that Game of Thrones. They must have really done something bizarre.
I listened to one lady on the news, say she felt sick. Does that mean physically sick, as in the Twilight series with the photo-epileptic reactions in the theater, or a sensation of disgust or something?
I'm asking because entertainment should provoke strong emotions, and that's an hbo pay television station, no? I don't really keep current with current tech or broadcast television business stuff.
You get what I am saying, a psycho-somatic response of sorts.