I can relate. Especially at times where I isolate myself and have no reference point or any outside opinion on the matter.
I keep records personally, as during episodes I am unlikely to notice it even is one until after it's passed. Some of the stuff I've written in the midst of odd thinking took deciphering after the fact, but they were different than when not in that mindset to say the least.
Everyone's at least a little crazy, what's really important is that it doesn't get in the way of your functioning. Knowing what sort of things crop up when not yourself can help with learning to recognize it, which helps with keeping it under control.
Well, we could define what crazy really entails, for starters.
The general consensus defines 'crazy' as people who are general creeps, establish conversations or debate with themselves on a regular basis, something about inappropriate aggression and emotional discordance. Oh, let's not forget about the green dwarves running around with machine guns.
The "I can't take it anymore" just tells me you are in a bout of stress and don't know how to handle it very well. I doubt a real crazy person is even aware of their 'craziness'. They are usually the ones thinking everyone else either "don't understand them" or they are the "only ones with their shit together and everyone else is a nut job".
Well, when I was writing this some days ago, I felt like I was falling apart and the same thought I described in one of my previous posts re-appeared. I suddenly had an anger attack without any reason.
But I decided it was enough. I got sick of feeling so much anger and I wanted to end it all. I grabbed the first pills I found here and went to my bedroom. There was something inside my head telling me to do it, but finally I couldn't...
I fucking couldn't, because I wasn't going to give them that satisfaction. I know some people just want to see me dead, like my father, his family and some others. I felt in that moment that I had to live, just to see all those bastards in a horrible situation. Sooner or later, they'll probably regret it and I must be here to see that.
And yeah, I've experienced some horrible episodes of stress, especially this year, but...haha...wanna know something??? I'm thankful for it or else, I wouldn't see things the way I do today.
It's cute when most people turn their backs on you and tell you to fuck off with their actions. Most people, or at least the ones I know, do it when you've got nothing and when you're nobody, but things change when you have some cash in your bank account or you get some status.