Sociopath Community

I also feel like this sometimes and I don't think I have BPD. My mood is quite stable until something goes against me or I let my entire situation get to me. Then I let off rage in some way. One way is writing stuff a little similar to what you wrote but much worse at times. I also punch things and have (stupidly) destroyed things in my home. Other times I take a knife and stab a phonebook or something. What's "dangerous" about these moods is that I don't back away from anyone I meet when I'm in them. Usually I'm very good at staying calm in front of people though.

"OR you go to Hell, where you are tortured forever. Forever is a long time, I am sure even this would get boring after a while."

This made me laugh. :)

I've also thought about what kind of afterlife there will be if any. None of these alternatives seem that great though.

 The following quote is a comment from me on the Golden Girls theme song video. Yes, the fucking Golden Girls. This one, if it matters.

This comment is a rant. If you do not want to read a bitter rant, please do feel free to blow right past it and pay it no mind..This video was supposed to make me feel good but it upset and pissed me off instead and I decided to vent right here. If you read below this point then that is your own choice and you have no right to whine at me for ruining your experience of this nice video with my shitty comment.
.
.
.
Also if you read this knowing you don't like rants then you're a retard and you deserve whatever headache you cause yourself.
Last warning.

The universe is fucking stupid. Why can't we figure out how to take all the life from bad people and use it to make the good ones live forever? I'm not crazy, know it can't work that way, but it should.There are so many people around who just plain don't deserve to live, and so many who've died who should be with us forever.. Fucking people like Limbaugh, Sarkeesian, the entire Bush family, religious extremists, atheist extremists, fucking all the shitty people in the world get to sit around, enjoying their fucking lives, still breathing, still using precious resources, just fouling up our planet with their existence, like they actually deserve to live!! All the while, decent people like these fine ladies, and millions others are dying off in droves. I hate how things are. I hate even more that there isn't a fucking thing I can do about it except sit here with a heightened awareness of how completely fucked up the situation is while simultaneously moving toward my own inevitable demise.

When I get in moods like this I can honestly say that I really understand why people go on killings sprees. Take out your aggression on the mindless morons around you in one magnificent move, like a firework of rage, but without any pyrotechnic skills required, and no having to buy or handle fertilizer. Life is meaningless so it doesn't matter anyway.

Yesterday, tomorrow, next year, next decade, doesn't matter because your body will end up a puddle of black sludge in a box, planted next to other puddles of sludge in boxes.
Yay Atheism! How fucking cherry.
Oh, but let me not leave off religion, because Gods forbid I do that then some dumb Jesus freak will waltz in selling me glittered shit-on-a-stick and pretend it matters..So, if religion is right then woopdie-fuckin-doo:

Christianity/Catholicism: You go to heaven, sit on a cloud, doing NOTHING (because everything fun is a sin, so it obviously ain't gonna exist in heaven) except basking in God's shiny ass glow. You go to Purgatory, which is the same as Earth, but boring. OR you go to Hell, where you are tortured forever. Forever is a long time, I am sure even this would get boring after a while.

Wackadoo religions: You go to space and live among star people or what the fuck ever. Why is this a good thing? Ok, so what if the Annunaki have a government like North Korea? Then fucking what? Enjoy your deep-space interment camp.

Reincarnation religions: Nothing more fucking meaningful than doing something completely stupid and pointless OVER AND OVER forever. -.-

In conclusion, fuck the universe, fuck who/whatever made it and fuck you. Have a nice day.

 

Look at this shit. LOOK at THIS SHIT. Fuck. Fucking hell. I'm still in the middle of this fucking retarded BPD "fit" (that's just what I call it when my BPD does it's retarded version of a solar flare) and even now I can see it's completely stupid. Gotta love pointless, baseless rage combined with fantastic thinking and having all other emotions heightened for no good reason other than, idunno, my brain got fucking bored being rational for too damn long I fucking guess.

Don't worry, and don't bother offering advice (unless you just feel like talking), my ASPD will regain control soon. posting this is an attempt to force that, because publicly displaying my bullshit in front of people I am familiar with makes the shame-control portion of my BPD freak out and sends the fit into remission, so soon I'll go back to just having mild resentment towards the state of things as opposed to flagrant displays of BAWW. I also thought I'd share (besides the above reason) because this shit needs to be laughed at and I figured if anyone on the internet could appreciate a good psychological tantrum, it'd be you assholes.