Sociopath Community

I am a fairly balanced person with not a lot of variety in my emotional state. However lately these states of happiness (or rather just being in a good mood) and being in a bad mood have been exuberated due to amphetamine based drugs.

Normally my level of empathy to those around me is pretty low to nonexistent. However as all things it varies and the other day it was at an extreme level, something I never experienced before.

So what I was wondering people here who identify as having a lower base level of empathy relative to the normal how much does it vary with emotion and how do you feel about it?

I have had the same experiences when I took methamphetamine the first time. My experience was when I was on YouTube and a song made me emotional (sad) I have no idea why but it made me imagine what my mom's reaction would be if I was to die. No other drug has made me do that before. It was like I was in some sort of trance. I think I went like 10 min without blinking. 

Drug induced emotions are not real. 

You're not very smart are you? Try to stick to topics and thread you grasp.

Well it was not as a direct result of the drugs, I stole ADHD drugs from my sister and when on the --backlash side of things (aka feeling down due to them). I felt a strange empathy to things on TV. So I don't think this can be reduced down to drug induced empathy.

For example I was watching the usual crime shows because they interested me and there was a proposal, and I felt a abnormal emotional connection alien to me before.

It probably was suppressed because of the abuse you went through, as empathy is a kind of a weakness and you needed all the strength you could gather during those times

Sometimes I react to a character onscreen, whereas I almost never experience empathy with people IRL. I haven't tried to pin the cause, but I believe (for me) it's usually a combination of fatigue and substance use.

I thought molly would make me more empathetic but it just served to increase my sadism and homicidal urges

It is possible, though I wasn't really abused much until adolescence. My "coldness" began long before then. Apparently as a young child, I would go out of my way to do nice things for people. People bring this up to me to remind me I was not the type of person I am today. But I still go out of my way to do nice things for people...just not as endearingly, I guess.

There are some other things that make the issue a bit more complex to try to figure out. For instance, when I was a child I was in a severe car accident. Our car was totaled. My aunt was completely shaken, and looked over to me to ask and see if I was alright. I was completely unperturbed and just said "yeah." I just thought that the situation was interesting. My calmness in situations where others would panic (among many other situations) has led me to believe that I might be a little different, emotionally. And in a variety of ways; that was only one.

Was it abuse? Maybe? But I doubt it. Most of my childhood, I lived with a loving family. And in high school, I had friends and people I could go and talk to if I wanted.

I've always been an analytic person; one of my childhood names was "the professor." I remember when growing-up that emotional relationships began to look very weird to me. How excited people would get, how they would rush to embrace each other, how they would rush to me seeking that same warmth from me. I think my uncinate fasciculus never developed properly, and/or my oxytocin genes don't function properly.