We're not in a bad enough neighborhood for that to carry weight.
No sense bumping them off. Would raise too much suspicion. Also, I don't really have a murderous streak.
Hey all.
I live in a fairly swish complex. Great flat for throwing parties, orchestrating fuckfests and general chaos.
I dislike several of my neighbors, however. Old people who are constantly complaining, some bitch upstairs and some motherfuckers who dared to have a child.
Best thoughts on how to drive them out? Naturally they're legally sound, so I can't throw the book at them, but I'm OK with engaging in unethical subterfuge to clear out the old ones and the un-fun ones to allow for an influx of fun bodies.
If they are always complaining, they are probably complaining about everyone, not just you, eventually they will move out, but you can't guarantee your new neighbours will be any better, so, I'd guess you'd have to get in good with the real estate people and help guide your new neighbours in. Keep a watch out for open houses or something.
Think of it this way, the mother is complaining about noise waking up her kids, and the old people are complaining about crying babies and noisy kids.
I was in the most amazing pent house industrial factory turned loft. The people below complained non stop. Eventually I had a fire and people started screaming fire. It was a big one on the roof. The neighbours complained about people yelling.
After that, they were ignored by the landlords whenever a complaint was made.
Um, i can share a psychopathic subconcious moment with you.
This guy parked next to me made fun of me in a very nasty way. Sort of an under the breath nasty remark slash bitter compliment.
It is was really offensive, but I held my breath and didn't genuinely understand how nasty that person was being to me.
Next day i accidentally, 100% subconsciously damaged a piece of thier property. It was totally by accident, but now i understand that my sub conscious may have been at work. they haven't said a word to me since.
You know when one of your friends does something accidental to one of your things and your thinking there is no way it could have been an accident, but everything they are communicating suggests it was a complete accident?
So... maybe you are a psychopath?
Maybe when you are building your deck, you can accidentally dump your truck filled with dirt onto their patio? Whoopsie...
BTW, my heater is broken, and i am using a humidifier. the water seeps down to the floor below me. totally an accident. At least i am not exercising anymore. i might start to care about the water eventually. (only kidding, there is nothing i can do about it, there is like a 1/2" worth of ice build up on the widows. i am seriously worried about spring rolling around, but alas, there is nothing I can do about it.)
Noise isnt really my problem. I just hate old people and children. (edit: ah, I see you meant use noise as a weapon. Fair enough)
I was considering digging around on some of the oldies to try find dirt on them, and then anonymously blackmail them, but no dice so far.
One of the old fucks is constantly complaining about the girl who lives next to him, who seems pretty quiet. One of my plans involves recruiting her to make moderate noise and then quieten down immediately before any of the HOA could witness it. Rinse and repeat until he leaves OR harasses her enough (and, as far as everyone else knows, without reason) that we can take legal action and get some kind of restraining order (effectively kicking him out/forcing him to sell since they're next door).
The risks are, of course, that she now knows I'm not the smiling, amicable Chairman most of the apartment knows me as. Something tells me she might be a bit of a socio, but I don't trust me internal reading that much.
My psychologist describes me as a blend of narcissist and sociopath, with borderline tendencies (but without the borderline emotional profile). I do a lot of things on impulse, but very little by accident.
Construction doesn't help, since the noise they complain about most is after dark. The bylaws are on their side in this case, unfortunately.I wonder how an anonymous mail to the parents about an alleged sexual offence from the one of the old fuckers would go down.
If you are not breaking the law, there is nothing they can do and eventually people will tire of them complaining.
So... just ignore them, they will eventually do themselves in.
Be a psychopath on this one, let them be the sociopaths.
Do something that is completely within the boundaries of the law, which upsets them, and they will do themselves in.
For example, make a deck in the backyard, start it up during hours which are within the boundaries of the law.
I don't know what to say other than I've lived in the noisest parts of the city, and in the suburbs, when construction is happening, it is 20x worse than the city. That and all the fucking fire drills, non-stop. The city with all the cars, and people and the noise is quieter than the fucking suburbs. You get used to it. The quiet of the suburbs makes every little noise that much louder.
I mean anything is loud. iN the place i am in now. Exercising has caused the neighbours to complain. Why? because a tiny little thud every now and then is out of the ordinary. they originally thought it was something going on with construction in the building, and they didn't care, but once they found out it was me, they wouldn't stop complaining. i couldn't even fucking exercise.
So... know that every little noise which will not bother you, will infuriate them.