Sociopath Community

then the doctor came in and asked "why are you talking the that lamp" looking over at the crazy person talking about becoming a flying murder machine.

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Then a dude named batshit burst in the door screaming about having no health insurance and begged for an examination for his prolapsed butthole

... but then came along a tiger who ate him, balloons still unharmed.

Charles Manson was busy twisting balloons...

And that's when I realized... This wasn't the end... it was only the beginning...

Though i didn't really ask, I just broke out of the hospital and ran home as fast as my naked body could take me. which wasn't really fast because once the drugs wore off i found myself butt naked in a...

... a police cruiser. I had secretly wanted law enforcement to punish me for years, but now finally they had caught me, and now I could only hope that someone could unlock my feelings of repressed guilt. I asked the detective not for my lawyer, but instead for a clergyman and they said to me...

After that, a nurse comes in and when she saw that prolapsed butthole, she screamed and had a heart attack