Ffs poor guy lol. You ever heard of a therapist? This guy probably wants to stab his ears out.
"Do you have anyone you show your true nature to and if so how do you avoid risking it all getting out?"
Online, I have plenty. In real life, I have two people: my brother, who told me he would always love and protect his little sister, and he keeps my secrets. The second is someone that I like to think of as my mentor. He is an older, and more successful sociopath, that I am strongly attracted to, but that is beside the point. I can bounce ideas off of him, and tell him of things I have done, and he never judges me. In fact, he has some wonderfully evil ideas and deeds himself, so we keep each other's secrets.
I love having a personal pet.
I have a strong social circle where most people see me one way, as a respectable person who is good at what they do. Someone they can trust, perhaps not a nice person but someone sociable and dependable, someone who adheres to social norms etc. This is something I have worked on for a long time, crafting my social image for my professional and social life.
If my true nature would be revealed most people around me would distance themselves, both professionally and personally.
But of course this gets boring, so I decided I wanted to try something new. I decided to do it with someone I have control over, someone who I can destroy socially and I have power over professionally. I sort of eased him into it, showing him other sides of me. Introducing him to my gore fetish and my true feeling about other people around me, how I hate some of them trick them or whatever. All this while he knows he can't do anything about it.
The most amusing part is that he hates it, he hates every little thing I tell him, the fact that he can't do anything about it since I am above him socially and professionally and the fact no one will believe him (which I take pride in, sort of a testament to how well crafted my image is). I force him to go with me and the gang on our night outs and watch it all unfold. His anger and helplessness of his situation is so entertaining.
I am not usually the biggest womanizer or anything (call it lack of drive or boredom or whatever) but I knew there was this one girl from a night out he really liked. They dated for a little while, she broke up with him over some random reason, he is pretty beta, he still had feeling for her and told me about it. Anyhow I knew our 'friendship' would reach a whole new level if I fuck her, and be with her in front of him. Watching him squirm was the best.
But I digress, point is: Do you have anyone you show your true nature to and if so how do you avoid risking it all getting out?
"I love having a personal pet."
That used to be me, it's a nasty habit to pick up.
"I have a strong social circle where most people see me one way, as a respectable person who is good at what they do. Someone they can trust, perhaps not a nice person but someone sociable and dependable, someone who adheres to social norms etc. This is something I have worked on for along time, crafting my social image for my professional and social life."
How much of this would you say is the real you? Being a certain way long enough can have aspects of it bleed into your real self through familiarity, if not the mask fitting more securely from it being similar enough to your actual face.
"If my true nature would be revealed most people around me would distance themselves, both professionally and personally."
It's a matter of finding the right people. What you figure people might stigmatize others might embrace, but you won't likely find out who those people are and aren't if you don't test them a little.
"But of course this gets boring, so I decided I wanted to try something new. I decided to do it with someone I have control over, someone who I can destroy socially and I have power over professionally."
Careful with that. Even if the subject never becomes a threat it can betray weaknesses of yours to those who are perceptive enough to gauge motivations. People who need control over others desire that for a reason, a reason someone smart can pick at when they notice it's there.
The need to be in that sort of safety net with people also makes them feel less and less like people. It makes it easy to feel alone, even if safe.
"The most amusing part is that he hates it, he hates every little thing I tell him, the fact that he can't do anything about it since I am above him socially and professionally and the fact no one will believe him (which I take pride in, sort of a testament to how well crafted my image is)."
How much does this person try to talk about you to others behind your back? Keeping company around that hates the things you do, feeling the need to keep notes on you and tell others about it without even a minor feeling of success will eventually make for a person that works harder to dig, a person who might work that much harder to show others that he's not wrong.
The safest position to be in is one where they think they're winning when they aren't if not being distracted by their occasional "successes", not one of you surviving opposition through pre-existing reputation. A reputation once broken can be hard to rebuild if you don't start again with fresh people, while throwing those beneath you a bone every so often can make things much easier.
"I force him to go with me and the gang on our night outs and watch it all unfold. His anger and helplessness of his situation is so entertaining."
Watching a person squirm is pretty fun sometimes...
"Anyhow I knew our 'friendship' would reach a whole new level if I fuck her, and be with her in front of him. Watching him squirm was the best."
That sounds risky, like it might inspire new heights out of this "pet", but it sounds like you want to invite that sort of thing.
"But I digress, point is: Do you have anyone you show your true nature to and if so how do you avoid risking it all getting out?"
Among peers anyway I use my "true nature" for the most part like a natural filter. If they don't like me from the start they can leave and they will not be missed, and if they're cool with me (or curious) they'll stick around. I disclose past stories about myself alongside the occasional tale of others I know or once knew, making sure to not discuss the present in as much detail. I also show how it was me being beneath my current standards to be as I was in the past, how my behavior is largely relateable, seen as still being "human" through the right word choices. With that they know enough of what I'm capable of to be wary while open to falling for it through power of suggestion, small lighthearted games are excused, and eventually the traits that might be seen as "deviant" become old news, expected. Having tons of stories in my back pocket also tends to help people feel less alone, and even when the stories aren't about myself they can assume I must be "a good listener" while simultaneously feeling comfortable enough to divulge details about themselves they aren't always used to talking about so openly. Having a lot to say can push for others to reciprocate, especially if they relate to anything that was said prior to them opening their mouths.
I learned from when I was younger that the more secrets you keep, the more people can uncover, while if you can have people adapt to who you are in advance they'll excuse a surprising amount of behaviors. The initial shock of finding something out after they thought they knew you is much more of a hassle to handle than a first impression as someone quirky. With enough confidence they may even try to model off of you.
I see it often as a minor form of idolizing his innocence through pet-based obsession while aiming to ruin it to confirm how unrealistic it is to himself. Often the one who is "in control" of what's going on is actually following another's lead, giving themselves a boost of ego when they feel they can fuck with them to convince themselves that they're the fisherman instead of the fish.
Sometimes the more submissive character of the relationship is the one who secretly has power.
I mean it is pretty clear I have put him in a situation with power over men rather then the opposite, relative to how it was before. I mean if our relationship was just that of someone professionally/socially above and some below he would have nothing on me. On the other hand I have learned a few interesting things about him that could be used against him however its not something I would want to do.
So relatively, sure has have some more power but it is nowhere near what I have over him.
So you are obsessed with this guy, you enjoy watching him squirm, you think about fucking his love interest, and "seeing him evolve into something different would be very rewarding for" you? Way to go Mr Psycho. Just watched the second season of Hannibal and it's like you're trying to reenact the Hannibal Will dynamics here XD
How much of this would you say is the real you? Being a certain way long enough can have aspects of it bleed into your real self through familiarity, if not the mask fitting more securely from it being similar enough to your actual face.
There are, like everything degrees to this, sometimes I am more honestest in the personal or whatever but it depends on the context. Nonetheless I would say there is a clear line between the professional me and the real one, one is artificial one is real. Sometimes for the hell of it when I go out I take on a different personality, I make sure not to do this in front of other people who know other sides of me but I have made it a little game. I do it in front of the little pet for fun just shows him a different side of me.
It's a matter of finding the right people.
Eh most of them I know pretty well from interacting with on a daily basis and none of them exhibit anything that would make me think they could handle the real me free from societal prejudice or moral concerns.
Careful with that. Even if the subject never becomes a threat it can betray weaknesses of yours to those who are perceptive enough to gauge motivations. People who need control over others desire that for a reason, a reason someone smart can pick at when they notice it's there.The need to be in that sort of safety net with people also makes them feel less and less like people. It makes it easy to feel alone, even if safe.
For him to pose a threat to me in any way he would have to actively try to do something, just some small slip-ups would do little to nothing to me. If someone is smart enough to notice what is going on they would be smart enough to realize it is harmless, even if they would view it in a negative light it sure would be interesting to see how I would deal with them.
How much does this person try to talk about you to others behind your back?
He does nothing, docile. It would however be fun if he tired. My word vs his, I am almost 100% sure what the outcome would be.
The safest position to be in is one where they think they're winning when they aren't if not being distracted by their occasional "successes", not one of you surviving opposition through pre-existing reputation. A reputation once broken can be hard to rebuild if you don't start again with fresh people, while throwing those beneath you a bone every so often can make things much easier.
His potential to do damage is limited, but I agree a reputation is harder to rebuild then build from the start. Sure my position is clear and vulnerable, but it is the only one I can have in this situation after all its all for fun. If I make him believe it is hopeless for him hard enough and that no one would believe him no mater what, there is not much he can do.
That sounds risky, like it might inspire new heights out of this "pet", but it sounds like you want to invite that sort of thing.
Exactly, I am not sure what I want out of him, nor what I want him to become but I feel it is progress. Seeing him evolve into something different would be very rewarding for me.
I use my "true nature" for the most part like a natural filter. If they don't like me from the start they can leave and they will not be missed, and if they're cool with me (or curious) they'll stick around.
Many times I don't have this luxury nor would I want to filter people with potential out, I first want to see what they are capable and how they are before I get in close with them. A inviting 'persona' is best to start off with.