My cousin died two days ago in a car accident. I'm not sure exactly what happened. We were the same age and played a lot growing up as kids. The last time I spoke with her was a month ago and I was extremely annoyed as she babbled on about her problems over the phone. I pretended to listen while watching tv. So blah, blah, blah.
The thing is everyone keeps asking me in these hushed tones if I am OK. I feel fine. In fact, I feel nothing but slightly more annoyed that she had a better car than me and she ruined it thru bad driving. I overheard someone say I must be in shock and that's why I am acting so cold. haha wtf? Should I fake grief so they don't think I am dead inside?
yeah, some people fake grief. Some people also make a big production of their grief. I think that is BS. I can understand her mom, and maybe her dad being upset but man oh man there are some coat tail drama queens working over time right now. I want to fake it at the appropriate level, you know. I just don't know what that level is?
They are asking you if you are okay, because they have no idea how close of a relationship you had with your cousin or how you handle death.
Maybe you are some mentally ill person who cannot cope with death and it sends them into a crazy spiral of drug abuse and crime.
My Cousin died, who was the same age as me, while she was giving birth.
I felt strange about it, but overall I felt much more appreciative of my own life. It was a positive influence on my life, although it was a very tragic event for others.
Now my brother committed suicide, and I didn't remember too much from my childhood, but I still think of the guy. I've envisioned in my mind what he did, and what others went through and it's insane how things can go in life. People move on however.
Now when someone really close to me has a near death experience, well that is insanely difficult enough. When they die it will be insane.
So you aren't that close to your cousin. No worries.