Opposite of me is a basic bitch.
I mean I'm about the dead center of the statistical mean, physically. I have a few talents that fall on the "above average" side of the scale. I have a few traits that are "below average." It all balances out. I'm even at the exact halfway point of my life expectancy.
Except for money. My opposite would be independently wealthy and lazy.
My opposite would be a busty college freshman with a fake tan, bleached hair, and no ass, slathered with cheap cosmetics. She’d try extremely hard to be appealing to the opposite sex. She’d also be asexual, but highly romantic, and therefore over exert her sexuality, in order to attract a man. (Think desperate drunk girl, waving her bra in the air at a frat party, while her friend pours vodka down her shirt.) Despite her asexuality, she’ll fuck anyone, because it’s the only way she can find self worth.
Aside from blowing frat boys, she also blows money like crazy. However, she has no appreciation for quality. A tremendous amount of her money is spent on clothing, but somehow, you always see her in the same hot pink sweatpants with “BOOTYLICIOUS†written across the back in sparkly letters. She’s constantly texting or on facebook, gets a newer, fancier phone every six months, and takes at least one selfie a day. The idea of going camping or living in the country is repulsive and baffling to her. Small animals make her jumpy. She’s never owned a pet and thinks animals are gross and a waste of money. She gets this look on her face when confronted with anything outside of the mainstream and wonders aloud how people can listen to this music, wear these clothes, have this lifestyle, etc…. She’s easily freaked out by things she’s not used to and very excitable. She gets upset over the little things. She has frequent emotional melt downs, particularly in company, for the sake of garnering sympathy. Despite this, she rarely feels deeply.
While essentially reliable on a daily basis, she’s useless in a crisis, or any high-stress situation. She doesn't adapt well to varying circumstances. When other people get annoyed by her screw ups, she just giggles nervously a lot and then shrugs it off afterwards. She’s a functional person, but consistently works at a half-assed level and doesn’t hold herself to any real standards. She’s motivated by money for money’s sake, and is otherwise utterly unambitious, hoping only to settle down in the suburbs with a rich douche bag who looks like this, and will pay for her shopping habit and her inevitable plastic surgeries. It’s perfectly alright if he’s controlling and jealous, in fact she prefers to be smothered by her man, feeling inadequate and unwanted otherwise. Any relationship she has will be turbulent and superficial, as she has at best, a shallow understanding of other people and an even more shallow understanding of herself.
She’s consistent in her habits and moods, rarely feeling depressed or getting an emotional high. She’s not inclined to be philosophical or introspective. However, she’s an incurable pessimist and tends to bring a negative energy to things. She’s paranoid and mistrustful, but naive at the same time. She means well towards other people, but is frequently rude and tends to antagonize. She finds it easy to compromise on things that matter to her, but is not very accommodating when asked for favors. She has a low-brow sense of humor, no appreciation for culture, and thinks the average Joe is pretty smart. Deep down she doesn’t believe in anything, but as far as she’s concerned, she’s a good Christian who, when minorly provoked, can thump a bible with the best of them. She believes that all lives are valuable and all people are special. She makes a big show of being humanitarian, at least in part to gratify her need for reassurance that she’s a good person and that her life has meaning.
She was an early bloomer, with advanced social skills for her age, but was developmentally slow in other forms of maturity. She feels entitled, not to any destiny that she might forge for herself, but simply to be well taken care of by other people, for being the charming little pair of tits that she is. She’s physically lazy and gets no joy out of pushing her limits. Her lifestyle is unhealthy and her body is weak, and she see’s no problem with this. As far as she’s concerned, being strong is for men, while women need only be skinny. She’s not a sensual person, and tends not to appreciate the finer things in life. She has no hobbies. She spends all her time socializing and studying. She gets good grades, and believes this means she’s intelligent. She's majoring in pediatrics, because she loves children, wants to help people, and thinks that this is the easiest way to make a lot of money and have career status.
She thinks “Carpe Diem†is Mexican for “dead fishâ€.
Mine would inevitably hate yours for constantly one upping her and making her look bad, whether yours is actually doing that or not. The constant negativity from yours would often grate on her mood, since she'd have no barrier against other's feelings whatsoever, which of course would also be your opposite's fault as far as she understands it.
The two would likely argue over religion a lot but the arguments would largely lack substance, and her lashing out would be more likely to be directed to those who are closest to her, so your opposite would be in the "War Path" often. After being explosive she'd be wildly apologetic, but your opposite's focus on negativity I'd imagine would likely paint an unwillingness to keep dealing with it over and over. She'd be jealous of your opposite's appearance, and from that she'd keep feeling compelled to be drawn back despite deep seated jealousy and biting remarks at your opposite's expense to make herself feel better, followed by empty apologies and claims of it being "just a joke!". Naturally the "jokes" wouldn't be funny and she'd be the only one laughing, nervously.
She'd likely try to stick with the character you painted to get into more parties and score more drugs, alongside to keep the illusions my opposite carries alive through a more successful proxy. "We're like sisters!" would come out any time my opposite would want to feel more important, but she'd behave as if she's the "Big Sister" and therefor the one "In Charge".