OMG! We've got a Hannibal Lecter here
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Hello,
I think I am a sociopath. From very early age I don't care for the people. I have never felt love, guilt, remorse. Still I have something like consciousness. Sometimes, when younger, I was feeling that I don't have the feelings that other people had. I just couldn't feel like them (or so strongly like them).
I have never felt an attachement for someone. I learned myself lying at the age of 11-12 to hide bad marks in maths (before that, I was an excellent student at all subjects). I use my friends to tell somebody what I want to tell, but I don't care about their problems. When I want to be friend with somebody, it's like a goal I try to reach. Since very young I don't like taking responsibilities, I change my interests quickly.
Still I had experienced emotions. When I started to have the bad marks at maths, my father started to help me understanding the matery, but most of the time when I didn't understand something, he was yelling and sometimes insulting me, from which I felt really bad.
Another example is, when my grandmother died. She died in front of my eyes. On one side, I was expecting it, because she had cancer, and I wasn't sad. But the first 15 minutes after that I cried. Then the house was full with relatives and I found that interesting. At her funeral I was forcing myself to cry, and finally I did it, thinking: "I'm crying! So I'm not a bad person!"
And, at last, the thought of being a sociopath sometimes scares me.
Do you think that I am a sociopath?
P. S.: I'd also like to hear what do you think about this one. I think it also describes me very accurately.
http://www.sociopathworld.com/2014/12/growing-up-to-be-sociopath.html
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