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Posts: 5426
Stories Around The Campfire

 

by Helena

 I left the country and ran away to Melanesia (Vanuatu, for those of you who are more familiar with the South Pacific) because I thought that I'd escape the hype that was "50 Shades of Grey" (its hype rendered its physical properties as a novel irrelevant) for awhile. I returned a month later with my head stuffed full of fascinating indigenous medical knowledge and my bags stuffed full of kava, only to find that I had not, in fact, escaped the hype. That shit was still on the shelves at the bookstores in the airport.

Mmm... I can't imagine that being the real reason you'd go to Vanuatu. Do you travel alone, or with your fiance?

Posts: 471
Stories Around The Campfire

it all started when our hero mmp woke up in a forest it was the sixth time it had happened feeling extraordinarily stunned mmp grabbed a salt shaker thinking it wuld make him feel better but as usual it did not soon afterward he realized that his beloved sword was missing ! immediately he called his best friend shaniqua mmp had known shaniqua for plus or minus 23 years the majority of which were enchanting ones shaniqua was unique she was easygoing though sometimes a little ... stupid mmp mailed her anyway for the situation was urgent

shaniqua read the letter about a very happy mmp shaniqua calmly assured him that most puppies grimace before mating yet hamsters usually scandalously panic after mating she had no idea what that meant she was only concerned with distracting mmp in her letter why was shaniqua trying to distract mmp ? because she had snuck out from mmps with the sword only two days prior it was a golden sword ... how culd she resist ?

it didnt take long before mmp got back to the subject at hand with his next letter his sword shaniqua turned red relunctantly shaniqua invited him over assuring him theyd find the sword mmp grabbed his desk and disembarked immediately while prepareing for mmp shaniqua realized that she was in trouble she had to find a place to hide the sword and she had to do it carefully she figured that if mmp took the 63 comet she had take at least four minutes before mmp wuld get there but if he took the horse ? then shaniqua wuld be very screwed

before she culd come up with any reasonable ideas shaniqua was interrupted by ten annoying marmots that were lured by her sword shaniqua sneezed "not again" she thought feeling stunned she skillfully reached for her salt shaker and thoughtfully punched every last one of them apparently this was an adequate deterrent the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the bush squealing with discontent she exhaled with relief thats when she heard the horse rolling up it was mmp


as he pulled up he felt a sense of urgency he had had to make an unscheduled stop at mcdonalds to pick up a 12 pack of mittens so he knew he was running late with a skillful leap mmp was off of the horse and went surreptitiously jaunting toward shaniquas front door meanwhile inside shaniqua was panicking not thinking she tossed the sword into a box of filled with wood and then slid the box behind her hibachi shaniqua was concerned but at least the sword was concealed the doorbell rang

"come in" shaniqua sassily purred with a mighty push mmp opened the door "sorry for being late but i was being chased by some clueless zealot on a donkey" he lied "its fine" shaniqua assured him mmp took a seat just under where shaniqua had hidden the sword shaniqua sighed trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness "uhh can i get u any thing ? " she blurted but mmp was distracted all of a sudden shaniqua noticed a funny smelling look on mmps face mmp slowly opened his mouth to speak

to be continued

 

 

Posts: 956
Stories Around The Campfire

What the fuck did I just read?

by MMP

she was easygoing though sometimes a little ... stupid mmp mailed her anyway for the situation was urgent

Out of this whole "story" these are the only three periods in the entire thing.

 

I've been meaning to ask for awhile now but are you really this illiterate and uneducated? I'm not just talking about this post in particular, but how you write, the moronic responses you give, and things you write about are painful to read to say the least. Are you a troll or are you really this stupid?

Posts: 400
Stories Around The Campfire

I like it, sort of a satire of all these plebeian tier wannabes who write self-insertion Mary Sue stories. ehem Reaper ehem

Posts: 471
Stories Around The Campfire

 

by TheSocio

 Are you a troll or are you really this stupid?

i wuld say that i am pretty dumb as far as people go

the only saving grace is knowing there r far dumber people out there and i have met a few

in fact u dont have to go far to look for them

 

Posts: 126
Stories Around The Campfire

 

by TheSocio

What the fuck did I just read?

by MMP

she was easygoing though sometimes a little ... stupid mmp mailed her anyway for the situation was urgent

Out of this whole "story" these are the only three periods in the entire thing.

 

I've been meaning to ask for awhile now but are you really this illiterate and uneducated? I'm not just talking about this post in particular, but how you write, the moronic responses you give, and things you write about are painful to read to say the least. Are you a troll or are you really this stupid?

I wish I could be as straight forward and blunt as you are Socio offline. 

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