So I finally was able to do the deed today. After two hours of straining, praying, begging, making ammends with Buddha, Jesus, Allah, Jehovah and Charles Manson, I pushed out the roughest, hardest, and biggest Poozilla I've had the displeasure to give birth from my back door in my life. I let out a crying scream so loud the neighbor started knocking on the wall, disempathetic for the terrible suffering I'm going through, and I felt betrayed and let down in one of the least hopeful times of my life. I have a bit of a tearing on my anus and some moderate bleeding so I'm heading to the ER now. Pray for me to survive tonight so I can find the chance to take a picture. The thing is the size of a brick that looks more like the starting block for a pyramid in the name of Pharaoh Pooptah and the goddamn thing broke the bowl too. Stay safe and have eat fibers, don't end up like me. If I die I am leaving all my possessions to the Colon Cancer association of America that shall go to find a cure for Ed's massive butthurt. Bye
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