Okay, I've drank too much and I'm starting to feel sick.
Here's probably the last one for the night: http://stevie-nicks.blogspot.co.uk/2005_08_25_archive.html
It leads to an old myspace which is now gone, however there are some funny TK lines in there.
Demon wrote:
I am fully aware of what a psychopath is (also known as sociopath). This of course does not mean that it is not humanly possible for one to change, with some form of cognitive therapy or to change due to outside influences such as meeting someone in whom the killer has developed a relationship with. You cannot place the human mind in a jar and label it unchangeable. It cannot be done.
The human mind is one that is continually shaped and moulded by a combination of environmental factors and personal experiences. To presume that a killer cannot change is to presume that he was indeed born to kill and I refuse to believe that.
While watching my mother get beat up almost everyday I became a sadist at the age of 6 (tried to burn my little brother on a hot iron) but did not become a potential killer till the age of 16. That's when the murder fantasies began. So, what is the difference between myself and a serial killer who probably didn't start killing till he or she was that age also or older? Are you trying to tell me that there is no hope for me either to ever stop wanting to kill? Or maybe like the serial killer, you would also deem me a psychopathic monster based on the fact that I too get pleasure from these homocidal desires? After all, I have traits from several different personality disorders... Antisocial, Schizotypal and Schizoid being the main three. And yes, I have been diagnosed by a professional.
I have come close to killing people and when I say close, I mean very close to the point where I have actually strangled someone. But unlike the serial killer, I have much restraint and did not kill him. I have held a gun in my hand loaded with a bullet that I had written the victims name on with intent to kill, but did not pull the trigger. It was not guilt that stopped me. It was fear of capture. That is the only thing that stopped me. I knew I could come close and it gave me a thrill to do so, but the possibility of spending life in prison was and is not appealing by any means.
So tell me, if fear of losing my freedom is the only thing stopping me, then am I much different from a Serial Killer? Yet I can feel love towards my child and care towards the rest of my family... brother, sister, mother but no love or thought at all towards my victim other treating him/her as mere cattle. I believe it is those emotions of love and caring towards family that actually make me human. So, then does the love that a killer may feel towards his own family. How then can that make him a monster?
Evil is in fact a human concept derived by a society that has placed boundaries on what is deemed acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Who has the true right to judge anothers behaviour? Who has the right to call another evil when they are not without sin themselves? Answer: No-one!
~ Demon Disciple ~
P.S... I have noticed that a couple of my other replies have not shown up in the group yet. Are they being reviewed by the moderator or have you chosen to delete them for some unknown reason?
I have sought help twice in the past and nothing worked. I'm supposed to be seeing a psychologist soon, but I would be very suprised if he can help me. The last one (a psychiatrist) couldn't do jack shit. In fact, I got more amusement out of making that bitch nervous than I did in trying to get better. Before that I was christian for awhile and tried spiritual counselling but in the end I think they were starting to believe I might be posessed, lol.
The fact is, you have to really want to 'get better' before you can and only part of me wants to 'get better'. The other half doesn't. Why? because I enjoy thinking about killing people. It gives me a certain thrill to imagine stabbing someone to death. My desire for power and control has become an addiction. My wants have become needs and those needs torment me. Not because I have a desire to stop wanting to kill but because I can't just go out and kill whenever I get the desire to, which is pretty damned often.
Like I said in another post, there is apart of me that does want to stop... that wants to end this continual rage. But the fact is, I have more faith in rage than I do in love. Love can be deceptive. It can betray you. Rage is constant. It is an emotion that can be trusted to be what it is. People hide behind many masks in life and these masks are often masks of deception, lies and betrayal. I don't put too much faith in love because it is often just a mask. I am even afraid to allow myself to fully love my daughter for fear that she will betray me when she gets older. Therefore although I do love her, I have a tendency to distance myself from her. In other words, Although my daughter lives with me, I don't spend much time with her. I don't enjoy playing with her. I don't enjoy doing things with her that most other parents enjoy doing with their children. I like knowing that she's there, but not having to spend time with her. Which is exactly why I am seeking professional help for her sake.
~ Demon Disciple ~
^I like this one
I am a dominant, aggressive woman myself and I attribute that to environmental factors (exposure to violence growing up) and psychological factors (how that exposure has affected my mental development). I have the ability and desire to kill for power and control. I have done alot of illigal shit in the past. The only that stops me from actually killing is the fear of losing my child and my freedom.
~ Demon Disciple
Well Demon I can applaud you for what you said there....a lot of honesty from you. I think you were on the right path a decade ago. Wanting to get better for your daughter and being in touch with the loving side of you.
I don't know what happened. perhaps you can try to find that part of you again. I think your daughter would love to spend time with you.
DemonxDisciple write:
My ideal partner is a guy who is submissive, a masochistic slave, someone I can own and use as my property!
Someone who enjoys being owned by a dominant and posessive woman.
Someone who will submit to me upon my calling but who is also assertive and not afraid to speak his mind... as I enjoy a good debate from time to time.
Preferably, my ideal partner will be taller then me. I can't stand going out with short men!
He'll be a bit on the wildside (in bed and out), but not the type to want to go out and party all the time, understanding that there is a time to party and a time to relax.
He will be open minded and adventurous, willing to experience new and creative ways of self-expression through sexual and non-sexual activities.
He will be completely loyal, never faltering in the awareness that he is my property alone!
He will have a high sex-drive and be willing to submit to my sexual cravings without complaint (of there being too much sex).
He will be honest and open about his feelings, his desires, wants and needs.
He will desire to be like a father to my daughter, putting her best interests first and foremost before mine or his own.
He will be trustworthy.
He will be willing to allow me to take on a female slave without jealousy or contempt (I'm bi), should I so decide to do so.
And last but not least, he will be willing to accept my faults just as I will be willing to accept his.
Oh, yeah, and he will be between the ages of 25 to 40. Yeah, if he's younger then me, I won't mind having a toy boy to play with. I'm only 32... not that old yet.~ Demon Disciple ~
Originally Posted by DemonxDisciple
There's a difference between telling someone they're on their own and telling them they have a choice. Satan gives me free will to make my own choices. It doesn't mean He doesn't give a fuck. I am not being manipulated into making any decisions I make because it is my choice to choose whichever path I believe is the right one at the time. Unlike god, who tells you which path you have to take and even writes a fucking book on how to get there. If you don't follow what he says, you're fucked!
Whatever choices I make I accept responsibility for... I don't blame Satan or god, I blame myself because I am the one who made the choice. Satan allows me to make errors without using threats as a form persuasion and manipulation. Nor am I degraded (called a worthless sinner) for making a so-called bad choice.
In Hell, we are all worthy disciples of Satan. But even so, just as heaven has it's angels, Hell has it's demons and they are the army that will defeat god in the final battle. My goal is to stand at the left hand of Satan and fight by His side as the blood of god stains my hands. I will bring others into the fold and when the battle is won, the strong will reign supreme under Satans command and the angels will be torn from heaven. The weak will submit and be slaughtered like lambs, while the strong take their place and rule the land.
The meek will not inherit the earth upon god's defeat... the strong will and so we shall rule it for a thousand years, while another battle takes place among the demons and the war for the throne of Satan has been waged and won!
So it has been foretold, so it shall be done. Hail Satan!
Rofl