Sociopath Community

Just recently, I found myself in a place where I had finally had enough of my family's poisonous dynamic. Particularly the sister I grew up with. And looking back on it in hindsight- as always- I can't believe what I was tolerating.

That it had to get to the point of her fantasizing about me dying and her taking my child away to raise- just before she went off to rehab... for me to really get it. My family has never, and will never, give a shit about me. They are incapable of love.

So why do I tolerate these people who make me feel homicidal, and seriously drive me to illness? I've been asking that question for months now, and still am not clear on what makes it so hard for me to let them go completely. It must be something hardwired. Yet, on a conscious level I've never bought into that whole, "blood is thicker than water" bullshit. Do I care about these people on a level I'm just not aware of?

Anyway- I finally set a boundary now that my sister has gotten back from 3 months of rehab and the nut house. I told her I will be keeping quite a distance from her from now on. And I think eventually, I will try one last time to cut her out of my life. Her children are all grown up now- so she can't use them to pull me back. And the last 3 months I've felt so much better. I'm doing better in every area. I'm more productive at work, and home... and I don't feel angry all the time.

Does anyone else have trouble walking away from their toxic family?

Yes. I talk to my therapist about this frequently. I live in the same state with them. They call all the time and come over unannounced. They text. They want to be together all the time.

I set boundaries, they break them. It is a frequent problem. I try to have limited contact.

(double post)

My family is some what the same. They all bicker, fight, steal over nothing. Only my cousin is the only person I'd actually consider family outside of my immediate. 

They all argue and talk shit behind each others backs, there's no such thing as trust there. It's like a friend circle of nothing but frenemies, I don't understand how they did it and always hated that growing up, especially when they tried to make me choose a side. 

My advice, keep in contact with the family that sees what you see, if you have any of those. The rest, fuck 'em.

It's not easy holding someone accountable for what they do, let alone making yourself or another aware of what actions they are accountable for.

Bickering wars are emotional, rather than logical, so be prepared to be vehemently logical.

Step back from situations and allow people to dig their own graves.

Finally, remember that you have every right to be on this planet. This is your one and only life, and you are entitled to live it.

i wouldn't call it protecting anyone, but i do seem to have a calming effect on my family.

by Systematic

My family is some what the same. They all bicker, fight, steal over nothing. Only my cousin is the only person I'd actually consider family outside of my immediate. 

They all argue and talk shit behind each others backs, there's no such thing as trust there. It's like a friend circle of nothing but frenemies, I don't understand how they did it and always hated that growing up, especially when they tried to make me choose a side. 

My advice, keep in contact with the family that sees what you see, if you have any of those. The rest, fuck 'em.

 mmHmmm...yes, the most effective solution.

Nope. I don't. But I'm not sorry I came here ( to this state) I needed to know first hand if I was missing out on something with them. I'll walk away with no regrets.

Not really. My brothers are all highly independent. My father is independent. My mother is independent. We all go our ways, so I guess our boundaries are always intact. xD Plus, we live in different states. I think that is a contributing factor, not being able to see them.