What fantasy....
I wish for some kind of afterlife where I can meet my loved ones, the animals. Maybe even people. Hm.
But I don't know if that is really worth a wish because what if that is going to happen anyway, then I wasted a wish!!!
Anyway, I also wish I had good writing career.
For the execution, I don't want to do it myself, I'd rather be the trigger of it and I want it to be a bitch nurse that used to mess with me (typical narcissist, HER not me). I picture it like this. I sit in the waiting area and a guy drags her there with a knife to her throat. He is pretty angry at shit she has done to him and pretty crazy as well. They both see me as she is begging for him to let go of her. I calmly look on. She looks at me with begging eyes, wanting me to save me. There is a glimmer of hope since she is no longer alone with Mr Crazy. He tells me things she had done to do him wrong and asks me if he should spare her. I say no. The bitch looks at me with disbelief and hatred and she finally tries to scream but her throat is now severed. The guy runs for it. Other people arrive. As she still lies dying, the last words she hears is me telling I tried so hard to save her.
What easy solution are you referring to?
Do you have any idea just how hard it would be to get away with killing someone you've met online, especially someone who is connected to you through your online activity? Very fucking hard.
There is no easy solution here, other than to simply not commit the crime.
I feel like I'm set monetarily and power-wise. I am in a good spot and am not in need of ether. Socially I am surrounded by people who look up to me and appreciate and respect me, so I feel those narcissistic desires are met to some degree.
Sadly this has all fueled what I see as a illogical and inevitably detrimental search in my life for something-
As for wishes perhaps I wish I could take enjoyment and pleasure in other people's emotions other then sadistic suffering. Perhaps then I will be at peace.
As for execution I don't feel like I would take any pleasure in missing out on the "hunt" and all the other good bits leading up to the execution. Perhaps my boss so I could take his place? I don't know...