When I'm in a good mood, my empathy is much lower than if I feel crummy, but I'm less likely to become violent as I'm much more patient.
It sounds like you have self-defeatist thoughts when you are at ease. In my opinion, that sounds pretty normal in people who have been brought up in a hectic environment. Do you ever feel you don't deserve to be "happy", for a lack of a better word?
It is best if I don't feel anything at all, because I am more able to control myself and my environment. Is that how you feel as well?
This made me ponder, am I ever in a good mood? I think that if I'm in a good mood, or euphoric, I tend to become Mr. Brightside. I see everyone else as being in the same state, so I guess insensitivity is more likely to happen. Dangerous? Subjective. Murderous rage has no real connection to my moods.
My mood rarely changes. I don't usually experience highs or lows in emotion.
That's not to say I can't experience emotionsw at all. I can, but they're usually very fleeting and shallow.
Rather than being driven by emotion, my aggression and desire for violence usually stems from boredom and lack of stimulation.
I'm curious, how many of you feel that you're more dangerous when your in a emotional or physical state of pleasure (feeling good) ?
When i'm sick or feeling run down (weak). My mind isn't consumed with thoughts of death. I feel neutral, I don't care if something good or bad happens in my life or life in general.
When i'm under the influence or in a emotional or physical state of well-being. My mind is consumed with thoughts of death. I find myself planing out scenarios in my head of me hurting and killing people.
I get a euphoric feeling when planing these things out and when hoping for catastrophic events. I don't know if this is something I have developed over time as a form of protection.
I think, because of my childhood. I may have developed this as a way to protect myself from people in my life, I couldn't defend myself against. In my mind I'm unstoppable, a killing machine. Though in reality. I know this is a delusion.
I work, feel and perform to the best of my abilities while I'm under pressure. When there's a direct conflict, I feel a rush in pursuing and tackling the obstacle. I also have this destructive but motivating mindset, I will fight twice as hard if I'm injured physically. Anything that opposes me in completing my goals just angers me to the core and being injured by it is salt on wounds.
I have a better chance at completing a task if I'm the underdog.
by TurncoatReaper: "That's not to say I can't experience emotionsw at all. I can, but they're usually very fleeting and shallow."
What sorts of thoughts cross your mind during said fleeting/shallow moments?
Well, I can only think of one example at the moment because it's the most recent.
When a knife I bought arrived in the mail it made me feel happy. The happiness didn't last very long. It lasted for a brief moment, but I remember thinking about the knife at the time and how much I liked it.
I have a similar deal, usually lasting around half a second to three seconds, and once it's gone I end up trying to chase the feeling so I can understand it better, but just like that... it's gone.
The majority of my emotions last around 30 seconds or less on average, but I don't feel them very often.
I spend days at a time not feeling any emotion at all, aside from boredom.
Boredom is the only emotion that is consistent and long lasting and that's due to lack of stimulation.
by WW2when i am sick i just do not care about things at maximum level. i do not care if i die, i do not care if anyone else dies, i do not care if there is a fire 1 meter away from me. if there is a fire and i have to leave it would be like a chore to me. all i want is to lay and sleep till i feel better. the only reason i would eat/drink/take meds/etc is because i know it will make me feel better and yet that also is like a chore.
when i am feeling awesome i get extreme motivation and that often results in insulting people, especially online, since i restrict myself even less online by default. this is because i get the motivation to tell them how much i think they suck for various reasons, usually i can't be bothered to tell them anything, they are not worth my energy. i also get motivated to draw my gore/guro art. and motivation in general if i am doing some other task. i do not spend time to plan anything, if i wont be using it practically. its like i get high on life and i want to express my contempt for most people. normally i'd try to help them and give them a chance to not suck, but i dont care when i am in a good mood.
"when i am sick i just do not care about things at maximum level. i do not care if i die, i do not care if anyone else dies, i do not care if there is a fire 1 meter away from me. if there is a fire and i have to leave it would be like a chore to me."
I can relate to this. When i'm weakened i'm more dangerous to everyone around me. This is why you don't corner a sick or injured animal. They are unpredictable.