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What am I?


Posts: 11

I don't typically watch Television.. Aside from Prison Break, LOST and a couple of other TV shows that captured my attention, forcing me to exercise my mind and actually focus on hidden things..

 

But, recently, I watched Dexter.. As soon as this show began it seemed to laugh at me, poke at me a bit.. I made it through the first season before I really began to feel severely attached to Dexter and the "Ice Truck Killer".. (For those of you who have not seen the show yet, no spoilers.)

 

I have, since finishing Season 1, spent a massive amount of time researching Sociopathy, because I felt as if Dexter's ailments and his vocalization detailing his thoughts (or lack thereof) really matched myself..

 

I have been, for a majority of my life, unable to sympathize with people and, for the most part, unable to feel the powerful emotions that most people do..

 

I've had a few times in my life where I am able to fall victim to my emotions when things get EXTREMELY hectic, but only when shit hits the fan.. Like, when I'm about to be in a physical altercation, or someone is threatening me.. But, I do not feel sadness if someone dies, even if they're close to me.. I do not feel sadness with typical rejection (maybe if a longtime friend leaves me, but not due to rejection of sexuality or relationship)..

 

I do not feel remorse, I do not feel regret, I do not feel general sadness, I do not typically feel sustained happiness, typically it's only minimal, and fleeting..

 

Can any one help diagnose me? Maybe I just have a LACKING of emotion, but am not devoid of it? Can Sociopaths feel a minuscule amount of emotion or are they completely lacking in every way?

Posts: 3110
What am I?

What are you ?

Addicted to television programs that provide a media induced, distorted based view of a personality disorder, would be my guess.

Youll find that using the "OFF" switch on your appliance will instantly negate your self-perceived lack of emotions.

 

Posts: 11
What am I?

 

by Lycan

What are you ?

Addicted to television programs that provide a media induced, distorted based view of a personality disorder, would be my guess.

Youll find that using the "OFF" switch on your appliance will instantly negate your self-perceived lack of emotions.

 

 Haha, your facetiousness, I enjoy it.. alas, I implore you to assist me.. Do you think I am legitimately only suffering a media-induced opinion of my own state of mind? I've known for a long time that I was different, that I lived my life under reactionary terms, answering every situation with what I think people expect from me.. Not legitimately understanding what individuals want me to do, only hoping my actions would pacify them..

I've never felt legitimate love, I've never felt legitimate fear, anger, sadness or any other typical emotion I can think of.. I've had to feign most of them.. As stated above, there have been VERY FEW situations in which I believe I felt the above, and it was usually only in situations that heavily related to myself only.. Not involving anybody else..

Posts: 11
What am I?

Perhaps I'm not a Sociopath, and that would be perfectly fine. I'm not particularly needing to cling to any label.. I would, however, enjoy talking with other people who have the same issues I do. I've never in my life met another person who has to struggle to fit in like I do..

Posts: 1121
What am I?

Maybe you have, but you were both too busy pretending to be normal, to notice eachother. : P

Posts: 11
What am I?

I suppose this is indeed a possibility.. I must ask, is there any dangers to this? Could one end up in some sort of mental institution if you get outed for your lack of empathy or emotion? I have never harmed an animal or other being.. (Although I have had numerous occasions where the need to completely physically annihilate someone was nearly unbearable).. I have never actually acted on these urges, though. I just removed myself from the situation to preserve my freedom. :/

Posts: 3110
What am I?

I'm not particularly needing to cling to any label.

 

You seem to be rather taken with the label of "sociopath".

You also seem to enjoy the word "legitimate", as though any aberration of the things you mentioned is something to shun.

What instance of these emotions are you holding up as a shining example?. 

Posts: 1121
What am I?

You're not going to get locked up just because you claim to be a sociopath.  (Unless you're under 18 and you think your parents would have you committed, for something like that.)

Posts: 3110
What am I?

Definitely. The moment some medical charlatan  sees you lacking any emotion at all, you're on the fast train to the funny farm.

You should in fact, walk around wherever you go, with a HUGE shit eating grin on your face, so as to be certain that the men in white coats dont grab you off the street and lock you up.

Posts: 11
What am I?

Basically, before accepting this term of "Sociopath" I want to try to convince myself that I am <NOT> one, and not simply accept it.. I want to be convinced that this does indeed fit my issues..

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