I don't typically watch Television.. Aside from Prison Break, LOST and a couple of other TV shows that captured my attention, forcing me to exercise my mind and actually focus on hidden things..
But, recently, I watched Dexter.. As soon as this show began it seemed to laugh at me, poke at me a bit.. I made it through the first season before I really began to feel severely attached to Dexter and the "Ice Truck Killer".. (For those of you who have not seen the show yet, no spoilers.)
I have, since finishing Season 1, spent a massive amount of time researching Sociopathy, because I felt as if Dexter's ailments and his vocalization detailing his thoughts (or lack thereof) really matched myself..
I have been, for a majority of my life, unable to sympathize with people and, for the most part, unable to feel the powerful emotions that most people do..
I've had a few times in my life where I am able to fall victim to my emotions when things get EXTREMELY hectic, but only when shit hits the fan.. Like, when I'm about to be in a physical altercation, or someone is threatening me.. But, I do not feel sadness if someone dies, even if they're close to me.. I do not feel sadness with typical rejection (maybe if a longtime friend leaves me, but not due to rejection of sexuality or relationship)..
I do not feel remorse, I do not feel regret, I do not feel general sadness, I do not typically feel sustained happiness, typically it's only minimal, and fleeting..
Can any one help diagnose me? Maybe I just have a LACKING of emotion, but am not devoid of it? Can Sociopaths feel a minuscule amount of emotion or are they completely lacking in every way?