Hello all. The name is Karl.
I'm not a formally diagnosed sociopath. I'm still not entirely sure what i am.
I feel emotions. Short lived but pretty intense emotions. Mainly sadness,anger and excitement. Apart from these emotions, i generally feel empty, sometimes empty calm and other times, empty irritated.
I have found my tolerance of gore is pretty high. I was going to study towards Forensic Pathology. I've watched autopsy videos before and felt indifferent to what i was seeing.
I remember a lot of my childhood being filled with risk taking, although some elements such as performing in front of others, i did suffer some form of anxiety. I used to shoplift, picking supermarkets and i developed strategies to steal from particular shops. All small items, such as magazines, trading cards etc. Some of them tagged, most not. I also got enjoyment from tormenting certain teachers at high school. I have always been a habitual liar, using it to protect myself or hide my intentions.
At high school, i never had an interest in dating. I also never felt like i belonged, always like i was missing some part of life. I became involved with drugs at school, using and became involved with dangerous people. Eventually, i became bored of it so i moved away from it all.
The hardest part for me?Never knowing a clear cut answer for "Who am i?" and always having to fabricate myself to appear normal. I also find it hard to feign interest with certain people, especially people who are of inferior intelligence.
So am i a sociopath?As i said, i'm not sure. I'm closer to sociopath than anything else, so it felt fitting to join this forum.
Karl.