Sociopath Community

when i was 9 i tried to kill a girl. i stabbed her a bunch of times and i got arrested. somehow i wasn't imprisoned

Yup. Once for possession. I was carrying a knife too. However, I was so nice to the cops, handing over the drugs immediately and confessing on the spot, that I was able to get them to lower their guard enough for me to throw the knife away without them noticing.

I only had a little bit of weed on me and I look so little like a criminal that they just gave me a slap on the wrist and a couple of hours in the cells. I got out and walked into the first bar I saw.

Too funny. My story is almost identical to yours except I didn't have a knife or have to sit in a cell. They just drove me home and told my dad. 

Justice was served that day.

you are not allowed to carry a knife?

Cool story.

Nobody gets it. Haha.

They could all just be really terrible cops.

I think most understand, but OP has shit English and most people seem to be giving him a break.

by Dick Dastardly

Nobody gets it. Haha.

 I think everyone gets it, tool. It's an obvious typo.