Sociopath Community

by CrazyGirl17

I was recently discarded in the cruelest manner ever by my sociopathic bf of four years.  He vanished without a trace, only to turn up on FB proudly showing off new supply two weeks later. 

 What makes you say he's a sociopath?  Has he been diagnosed? Does he have a criminal record? 

By "supply" you mean his new love, i gather?  Why do you call her "supply"?  They might be madly in love and live happily ever after together. 

I'm so mad!!!!!!

For a fact.

How can I "steal" him back from this new supply?

He's not your property. If he doesn't want to be with you, he won't be. You can't force people to like / love you.

 

There has to be a way

Nope, there hasn't be. 

This is not acceptable.!

More like "you don't want to accept it".  But you'll have to.

by MercyAnn

 realize that the person is beneath you

 What makes you think the person is beneath the OP?  Sounds more like it's the other way around, and likely that's why the OP got dumped.

Of course, I have no way of knowing if the person is beneath her or not, and you're right that it sounds more like she is beneath him but I was speaking in terms of what I would do in that situation. I'm inclined to think I am better than most people I am in a relationship with - because I tend to choose people to involve myself with in any way based on how inferior they are so I won't have to expend too much energy controlling them. Although I'd never BE in that situation and I especially would not be sniveling to strangers on the internet about my own incompetence as she is, if I were, that is how I would handle it probably. 

I see - thanks for the explanation!

by MercyAnn

I'm inclined to think I am better than most people I am in a relationship with - because I tend to choose people to involve myself with in any way based on how inferior they are so I won't have to expend too much energy controlling them. 

 Interesting ideas, i'm trying to wrap my head around them.  All very new to me.

I'm quite a hedonist, so i tend to choose the best (most delightful) company to be involved with - anyone lesser (inferior to me) would be a turn-off in terms of attraction.  

Also, from where i'm sitting, i'm  the center of my universe  so better / worse than me are meaningless terms from that perspective. They may be superior / inferior to one another, me does not come into the equation on any level.  (I see how that may come across as arrogance.)

so I won't have to expend too much energy controlling them.

Controlling someone is a chore and a drudge as far as I'm concerned.  The least thing i'd want in any relationship is control (or being controlled, for that matter - flipside of the same coin).  As you noted, control requires expenditure of energy, and as i noted i'm too much a sybarite for chores and drudges  -  i leave those for work. Relationships shouldn't entail drudgery, it defies the whole point of having them IMO.

Your mindset and you yourself in general seems to be very interesting. I like you. I hope to read more of your posts on different things to see how you see things.

Or maybe I'm just fond of the androgynous profile picture and the fact that it makes me read what you write in an old english accent. 

"That's when the notable women start to value personality, wealth, responsibility and success."

Define "notable" in this context.

What Elizabeth Smart's Mother told her

Was not to give that man another day of her life

The best revenge is to be happy.

So be glad he has no power over you and your freedom to be happy

When you feel a bad thought coming, think of something to be grateful for, relieved! You get to start over with no strings attached!

Surround yourself with generous people who deserve your friendship, and you deserve their loving support. The sooner you won't miss him. You deserve better so take on the world and find it!

"The best revenge is to be happy."

That only works if the other person has a reason to want to see you unhappy. If they don't give a shit it's not revenge, it's merely moving on.

Yes, that is the point - not to condition anything on another person. Your explanation is more effective, Thanks TC!

by Turncoat

"The best revenge is to be happy."

That only works if the other person has a reason to want to see you unhappy. If they don't give a shit it's not revenge, it's merely moving on.

 BTW Do you move on easier by forgiving and moving on, blaming it all on the other person and moving on? Both? Neither?

What helps you to let go so you CAN move on? What is the thought process for you?

I have people I still have grudges toward, I just don't think about it unless the moment calls for it. It's easier to plan in advance and just hold onto that for when a need to act becomes present.

I never understood in the first person sense how people could see that sort of thing as draining. I recognize that, to them, it is, it's obvious, but I don't understand why. I don't really move on, for if I saw those people again I'd still hold them responsible for all that's happened, I just don't let that take anything away from me. Dwelling is where energy is spent, not the grudge itself, so why not just plan enough to no longer need to dwell?