Dear Queen of Quantum,
I am licensed to practice on the internet, but not in real life. When I took the bar exam, I realized I'd only be licensed in one state, and I thought, fuck it, why not sue the whole world?
So I specialized in the internet.
Please don't hesitate to contact me for any grievances of mad, angry, or furious that you feel while residing on the internet. Internet Attorney is licensed and qualified.
Sincerely,
Internet Attorney