I didn't get a description from her. It scared the shit out of her, until i started BDSM play, then she accepted it as part of the "roleplay".
by TurncoatMy partners were too distracted to notice usually. If the sex sucks I also have said "empty" expression, but with the right dose of pain it changes nature.
That is the positive about most people during sex. Often too distracted to notice. So you find you naturally incorporate BDSM elements also? I also find myself doing exactly the same. Nothing worse than boring sex.
by MachiavelliWhy do you focus so much on it? Part of therapy is finding ways in which you can be you, find those that accept you for you if that's what you want, and find better ways to cope with the illness. Do you go to therapy for your ASPD? Your therapist would likely give you CBT and DBT classes to help you deal with the cognitive distortions and other aspects of this illness. There are also drugs that reduce the frustration and whatnot.
While not curable, if you actually have this disorder, it is manageable.
Also, if you stop and be the real you, you'll find more people will like you for that real you. Though unfortunately, you're going to have to deal with the fact that people aren't going to always be so accepting. And once you drop the mask, every neurotic will be up your ass.
My brother is also the same as myself and we share a...unique relationship, is the way to describe it. Constant power struggles, attempts to soil each others reputation. He also attempted to disrupt a previous relationship of mine. Yet, there is an ounce of respect between us.I think it could work, although it would take getting used to , someone also attempting to gain power over the relationship constantly. If we shared a mutual respect it would work, like my brother and i.
I focus on it so much because i do not blindly accept it, like most people. I have moments when i do enjoy being this way and toying with people and manipulating women who aren't single to have sex with me. I often find, if i keep myself busy and trying new things all the time.
DBT is something i looked into and i have a workbook up the stairs. I've attempted mindfulness meditation before,separate to DBT. It did help, in regards to realizing when my desire to manipulate returned and limit my preying and using of people. However, i gave it up formally. I do find exercise is meditation for me.
Therapy is something i have done in the past. I never revealed all of my symptoms, thus, i was incorrectly diagnosed each time. I considered that if i revealed every symptom, being labelled would just limit my career choice . The chance of benefits from therapy, often decreasing, as the age of the person increases.
It would be great to be myself. No acting, no pretending, just being. It has became so automatic, i sometimes react so naturally, i don't realize it. I often dream about retreating somewhere and living with just a female companion like myself.
I did consider that it would bring a lot of hatred. Some people do know that i am not normal. Those people don't even make eye contact with me anymore, so i wonder about the response from others. Perhaps i will bite the bullet and just go for it in my later years.
by TheCrowOnTheFenceWhy on earth would I have to mask my face during sex? I love sex. And although I have yet to make a sex tape or watch myself in a mirror, I'm fairly certain that I look like I love sex, while having it. : P
You haven't made a sex tape yet?Need to put that on your bucket list. Made two, plus one which doesn't really count as its a blowjob vid.
I've been told I have the expression of a wild animal when climaxing.
Apparently women enjoy that.
I understand the underlying appreciation of your partner looking that way from a female's perspective, but it still baffles me as to why would a woman let a wild animal cover her.
I guess I'm just a chauvinistic boob lover.
P.S.
I've just noticed I did the 911 here. Sorry everyone.
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