Would anyone like to talk about violence and the urge to commit it? I would. There have been some memories I've been kicking around in my head, and thought it would be good to share and get some reactions.
There have only been a couple times where I've been pushed to the point of violence, but many times where I've been near the breaking point. The times when I acted, I was young; I don't really count anything I did as a child (though I did suspect I was kicked out of preschool due to a habit of biting other kids when I was mad). I've learned to control it much better as an adult.
The most vivid incident when I was in school. My circle of friends was not large, but someone who seemed to be less well-liked than I latched onto my little group. He was weak, annoying, and easy to provoke. One day, he said something to make a complete ass out of himself in a group of students waiting for something (I don't remember what), but I couldn't help but tease him relentlessly about it. It felt good. I kept my cool, but words began to escalate until he made the first move. He slapped my drink out of my hand. I lost it. In a moment I had my hands around his throat. Squeezing. His eyes were fucking terrified, shocked. I didn't stop until one of the school administrators came around the corner. By that point, there was a pretty big crowd of students surrounding us, so the administrator did not have a clear view of what was going on.
The next day, I was called into "the office". One of the teachers took me aside to an empty classroom and explained to me that another student had said they were "scared of me". I knew it was him. "What? ME?" I played dumb, innocent, and eventually the teacher and I were laughing about how silly that anyone would be so scared of little ol' me. Should be glad that none of the other students who witnessed the confrontation corroborated the story.
He and I had a couple of encounters since then, but he always behaved when I was around. Just thinking about him makes my blood pump.
That's all I got. Reactions and your own stories would be fun to read. Got to do something to get myself out of this mindset now.