Sounds like a personal problem.
This little tirade basically says "I hurt and you should hurt too. It's your fault I do this." The last part is reminiscent of an abusive spouse who exclaims their love while beating the other and then blames them also.
Accept responsibility for your own actions and life. If you let your past define you, you'll never be anything more than your own disappointment.
It was very difficult to not make a lolret comment.
Dex, you and this forum are at a dilemma.
It's obvious they can't stop destroying you and who am I to blame them, but yet you can't stay away from this site. So instead of this continous conflict why don't we try to turn this situation into something a little more mutalistic.
You spam accounts, some for obvious reasons and others for legitimate purposes, either way they are plain as day to spot. They are always impulsive and very active, why don't you go a little bit deeper and role play as someone else. Make it hard for the other's to find you, you'll get your manipulation fix while under false pretenses, you'll be free of criticism as this is new found identity cloaks your flaws. The forum would find it entertaining if you put the skills I know you have behind it. Just a suggestion.