What is empathy really and is it important to have it? Some people see empathy as just a weakness but I think it's useful. I'm not sure about this, but I think that it's empathy that makes people understand how their behavior affect others. I don't lack it completely (I think). I sometimes do something that is less than good to people (who in some cases are friends). At the time it feels great to do it, but sometimes afterwards it hits me (sometimes it can take a long time), that I really shouldn't have done that (at least not to a friend). That I wouldn't have liked if someone had done it to me. I can understand how it would be if I lacked this ability completely. Not that I after I understand feel some terrible regret or shame, but it helps me to improve my behavior.
Another thing is that I think that it works in both ways. Since I can't really understand how my behavior affects others, I also don't understand how the behavior of others affect me. It's hard to explain... I can get furiously angry when someone has done something to me, but I in a way don't understand the full ramifications of it. Also, I do not really understand my own behavior. When I look back on my life it seems "crazy" what I have done. Still at the time it felt right and like I was justified in doing it. Also, I know that I (probably) will do these or similar things again.
Then there is the lack of shame which I also believe is related to this. Because of my lifestyle I'm very grateful for it. If I could feel shame (as much as) I think other people do, my life would be a lot harder. So I am not dissatisfied with the way I am. My problems are mostly caused by other people. This could seem like I'm lying to myself, but I don't think so. I really am a nice person. If people are nice to me and treat me with respect, I treat them the same way.