Sociopath Community

My childhood made me am what I am, I have no regrets. 

My mother was fucking some tool at the time, she left for Las Vegas for a week and entrusted him with me. He left two hours after she did. At age 7, I was forced to fend for myself. I cooked popcorn and ramen noodles for my brother. We ran out of that within 3 days. I made it a routine to steal from super markets in my area as well as raid the neighbor's fridge when she left for work.

That, switching parents weekly due to custody issues and constantly moving taught me to adapt quick and to stand on my own two legs. My parents are ass-hats, but I'm thankful for that.

Insomnia, light sensitivity, and an incrementally increasing level of depravity was not fun.

Other than that I can't really complain about my early childhood. It had private school, video games, martial arts class I'd take alongside my fellow students who possessed the same dancing/gymnastics training as I did, friends who could keep up with my level of thinking, and enough to do to keep me occupied and focused instead of bored and twitchy. I even had pets to keep me company on lonely nights. 

It was when I changed schools that things went dark socially. Suddenly everyone was stupid beyond belief and remarkably superficial (save for a select few). Tried a few schools, it never seemed to improve. The worst of it was a place called West Portal Lutheran School. Felt like I'd joined a cult where foolishness, stupidity, and wasting time was it's creed.

The main and only thing I can really think of to share with you guys is that, in a sense, I believe anger could be a really good thing to use to keep motivation and goals in mind. Everything else follows.

Anger never helps. Not for long-term goals. Anger is great for short-term and if you really want to get back at someone then you can rely on your ego to show them how great you are but even that only works so far. You need to enjoy what you do in order to achieve anything long-term. Anger fades.

Yes! We must never succumb to our impulses. Especially here... Where we unmask. Harmless sublimation is FORBIDDEN! It promotes antisocial behaviour, and breeds malcontent, ungrateful denizens who do not respect authority.

Long live Queen Luna!

I don't remember my childhood that much. Apparently I used to throw fits from time to time.

I couldn't stand my brother so I tried to get rid of him, literally:

1.the first try went something like this:I went for a walk taking him in his bary carriage with me(that was the setup) and came back home without him. I had left his carriage outside.

2.I pushed him from a slide in a park down to the ground. 

3.I pushed him in a Christmas tree.

4.I made him sign a contract stipulating that he was giving me all his toys for free. He couldn't read yet so I said that it was something beneficial to him. Once he had signed (with a cross, as I said he couldn't read nor write) I had a big reveal scene in which I explained to him that he had been conned.

5.I conned him into insulting my step-mother who I couldn't stand. 

But and that's the big paradox since he was my brother I also played a lot with him, you know climbing trees and stuff.

Nowadays we're both adults and he has held a lifelong grudge against me and I still can't stand him he's such an asshole.

Oh and what I was dishing out I also received. My best friend who was 3 years older than me  (which is a lot when you're a kid) played a lot of pranks on me and some were particularly cruel. For instance we were both staying at a family's home during a vacation and I had to pee , he locked himself up in the bathroom and I ended up peeing myself.

Then how do you form that feeling of enjoying something and trusting that it will be around in your head for a while?

the best word to describe it: blank

a second word to help describe it: aimless

However my childhood was, I'm just glad its over.

Little memory of my childhood except my first memory is of being strangled in nursery and gouging at the other kid's eyes until he stopped. Apart from that all I remember is being restricted and held back by school, parents and other people.

Oh yeah, and torturing people into obeying my will...