Sociopath Community

Ok first since I'm new here let me introduce myself.

I'm a male in his thirties, I have never been diagnosed but I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist.

I don't feel empathy like everybody (in real life) around me does. When I hear of something terrible happening to someone (like in the news) I simply don't care even if know the person.

Even though on some level I've always been aware of this lack of empathy the turning point for me was when my grand-parents died.

At the funerals everybody seemed stricken with grief but not me. And what's more I actually had to pretend to be sad in order to be inconspicuous and that role-play happens a lot to me.

Back when I was in high school one of my classmates was killed by a serial killer and I vividly remember my lack of emotional response the morning our class was told of her death. I know exactly what happened to her that night because her killers have been in jail for years now and even if i find it fascinating I'm only stimulated on an intellectual level not an emotional one.

I'm not gonna pretend to be something I'm not and I don't put much faith in online tests and I will not share all my inner thoughts with my psychiatrist because basically some of them are unsharable with a normal person so I don't know what I am.

But I tick so many checkboxes on Hare's checklist sometimes I didn't know what it was I'd think it's a fair assessment of my personality : glibness, tendency to lie and manipulate, lack of remorse, lack of empathy, proneness to boredom, impulsivity, irresponsibility, promiscuous sexual behavior, parasitic life style and substance abuse.

Now for the topic: I've always been fascinated by morbid stuff, I like gore sites ( how original I know ) and I've liked gore and horror for as long as I can remember. I've always been fascinated by crime scenes, autopsies and I wanted to be a cop when I was in my twenties. 

I find dead bodies intriguing, there're not something sexual for me per se but for instance a young, fit, good looking but dead guy would still be massive turn-on for me. When I read stuff about people like Dahmer or Fritz Haarmann I'm not only not repulsed by what they did but strangely intrigued by their deadly search for the perfect companion. 

I'm not sexually aroused by dismemberments and body parts but I kind of understand their fantasies about dominating, raping and humiliating a hot dude. 

That said I known I would NEVER EVER do things like that myself but I'm curious about others. How do you manage your own dark fantasies?

What happens when porn (in a broad sense) and role-play is not enough?

Welcome to the board! You don't sound like a sociopath, you sound like a sadist. You'll find that us sadists make up the majority here, and sociopaths the rare minority.

Hi, thanks! As I said I have no clue what I am I haven't been diagnosed but for me in my fantasies it's not really about physical pain and more about control.

What if your were out in the country somewhere and there's nobody around. You come across a hot looking dude hiking or hitchhiking by himself. Wouldn't you take advantage of that opportunity to do what you want to him?

Yeah I thought about those hypotheticals. In fact my house got burglarized once and I often thought about what would have happened if I had been there  and I had the opportunity to overpower him (the guy was caught later and he was alone).

But since I'm not too hot about spending the rest of my days in jail and almost everybody get caught eventually I'd rather find an more positive outlet, so of course sex, sports etc are a given to spend some energy.

A job with some form of control over people could be a good outlet too I guess.

You sneaky bastard, you!

Admirations and undulations to you.

Once I'm a full blown human I'll pay you a visit with flowers, a pretentious dinner and a barrel of wine.

You'll die afterwards in your own way of course.

Be it from old age, or boredom.

by DarkAges

That said I known I would NEVER EVER do things like that myself but I'm curious about others.

Never?

What if your were out in the country somewhere and there's nobody around. You come across a hot looking dude hiking or hitchhiking by himself. Wouldn't you take advantage of that opportunity to do what you want to him?

How do you manage your own dark fantasies?

What happens when porn (in a broad sense) and role-play is not enough?

Role play is not satisfying because it's not the real thing. All it does is lead to frustration. It doesn't really satisfy that deep hunger for real murder.

I manage my dark fantasies by simply accepting them as they are. There are times where my urges get real bad though and they literally torment me if I can't find some release. That's when my desire to kill feels like a compulsive need, more than just a want and I have to do something to relieve them.

There are legal things that work such as a beating the fuck out of a boxing back to work off the extra energy and aggression. Exercise works too. So does sex.

Mind you, they only work temporarily. The urge to kill always returns eventually.