Sociopath Community

by BakerStreetIrregulars

briefly running over all events of the past 5 years of my life that has lead me to my current train of thought.

Beginning when I was 13 turning 14, at a critical stage in my high-schooling career, my group of friends were the typically known group of drug users at my school, at this point in time I was what I refer to now as a sociopath-to-be. I had no idea what a sociopath was at this point but I constantly played on the level of subtle manipulation and charisma to influence the opinions of others around me and eventually; boost my status of popularity and control within the paradigms of my friendships.

At age 14 I took my first psychedelic trip; at this point in time I was dabbling in the realms of philosophy, writing theories about what I thought to be reality, alongside this I was also constantly inspiring my inner-self to personas of those that had influenced me; I had a particular trait of obsessing with creative-intelligence, being completely uninterested in mathematics, philosophy offered to me a reconciliation, something I knew I could develop an interest and academic achievement in.

During the stages of my trip, I begin to intensely wonder, aloud - what I was, and who I was, I had literally completely forgotten my sense of self; I speak completely literally when I say that the perspective i had was that, i could not feel my face one bit (i actually ate a mars bar and was terrified it was all over my face as i could not tell where i was putting it) and i was (as dumb as it sounds) looking at reality as a brain; not a person.

It wasn't until later years I studied the thoughts i underwent that night and realized my trip was instigated by the fact i had not developed, a sense of self, at all.

as life rolled by and my consumption of psychedelics growing fondly but never in-excess, I underwent the changes of maturity like other teenagers did; it was also during this time I developed an extension onto my sociopathic traits, I began to dress fashionably, cleanly; my over-all attractiveness improved as I grew up, Id talk more manipulatively, more wittingly and developed meticulous plans in my head that only had to be carried out via verbal communication, in which i found to be a great feature of my personality (at this point i was still in denial of sociopathism and assured myself that it was my upbringing of self-confidence that created my appearance of charisma and good social skills)

It was around this time I had begin to notice others changes of personality, and how I was unsure if it were drugs or the chemical reactions of puberty causing the changes, or if it were both. I begin to notice bad changes within myself; biased-self absorbed thought patterns that were illogical, immediately moulding my brain back to its original thought pattern it was then I noticed the complexity of illusions, and how most are entrapped to them.

Now reaching up-to the person I am today, I have massively studied the thought patterns of my brain and have come to conclusions of my persona.

I was a pure sociopath at the ages of 13-14, a low-functioning manipulator who carelessly toyed with the confidence and personality flaws of friends to show my dominance.

But once psychedelics warped the thoughts of my mind, and the 'growing up' part of my brain fused with the deeply rooted sociopathic traits I withheld, I became something much more then I had intended.

I honestly can't be bothered explaining the outcome of this whole event, but would rather hear some insight on what anyone has to offer (especially those that induce drugs)

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb indeed.