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by Vicarious

A psychologist does not manipulate at all.

 Sure they do. How could they not take advantage of that ability when they're in such an easy position to do so. People are gullible. I'm sure even psychologist's can see that.

Do you have any idea how easy it would be to fuck with someone's head as a psychologist... That would be a temptation hard to resist.

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And... that is why you, just like me, have been a patient and not a psychologist.

The temptation to abuse privellage becomes not so tempting when a psychologist realises that any damage they cause a patient WILL cost them their qualification and thousands of dollars each week for the rest of their life. Duty of care is a bitch.

Experience has taught me that what a psychologist does in their private life is sometimes a different story.

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"People here may draw conclusions from them, or not. It doesn't matter to me."

It matters so little to you that you made a topic about it. Seems legit.


"I usually don't say "I am this or I am that". Or I do but the next time I say I'm something else. I see it as a weakness to be too clearly defined."

You sure you aren't just desperately fighting to seem different, unique, in a world where we really aren't special at all? Could you be fighting being defined simply because having predictable tags on you makes you feel no better than anyone else? Hate to break it to you, you're an NPC.


"I perplex people who think they know me by doing something unexpected. Those are friends... Enemies I keep guessing even more. I know something they don't and that is that if they think they have me figured out, they are wrong."

So you use impressionable friends to bolster your feelings of security?

What do you do to figure what your "enemies" know? And how do you know they're wrong, because you'll change what the correct answer is? If so, that sounds like insecurity to me, not ambiguity.


"I don't like to be clearly defined. I am like a wrestler that is very hard to get hold of. I hide in the shadows and when I show myself, people see only what I want them too. I'm an enigma and dread to my enemies. If they think I am not, they truly haven't figured me out."

So you're... a wrestler assassin..?


"Basically I don't think there is anything wrong with me."

Denial. There's something wrong with everyone. It's simply a matter of gauging if it bothers you or not.


"'You are so gifted' 'It is because you are so intelligent you have done so well'"

Feeding your ego so you'll share more. Classic.

Posts: 340
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I didn't exactly bond with my first psychiatrist. I liked him and that he admired me, but I didn't cry when he died. I do not remember feeling sad either.

Posts: 340
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The psychologist isn't your friend, lol. He's just saying stuff to
make you comfortable so you'll open up more. It's a manipulative
technique and a very affective one that works on the majority of people
because it makes them feel like there is some type of bonding happening
when there really isn't.Do you think the psychologist will call
you and hang out with you like a friend when you're sessions are over?
lol. Of course not, because he's not your friend.

Clearly you're not a psychopath or you would have been aware of that.

 

No, it isn't like that. Perhaps he isn't really like a true friend, but it isn't something he is faking to make me feel comfortable. I act with him like I do with most people, and people like to talk to me. His reaction to me is similar to how most people react. I can "see through" people who fake kindness and concern in any way, because those people do not act like people normally do. Like a doctor I saw once for a physical problem. He seemed nice but there was also something a bit condescending about his manner. He was a person that I could not make do what I want, without doing something extreme. So I didn't even try... The conversation with him was basically a fight, even though we both acted polite. We reached a kind of compromise... That is not a doctor I ever want to see again.

I know that my psychologist isn't really like a friend. We do however chat if we happen to meet outside the clinic. Our conversation is also one were he asks for advice about things within my field of expertise. I am also careful with what I say to him. Perhaps too careful since I've heard that you have to "open up" completely to be able to be helped. But I can't and i won't. I have been more open in the past but it availed me nothing. So now I tell him what I want him to know and nothing more.

Posts: 340
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It matters so little to you that you made a topic about it. Seems legit.

I felt like writing this so I did.

 

You sure you aren't just desperately fighting to seem different, unique,
in a world where we really aren't special at all? Could you be fighting
being defined simply because having predictable tags on you makes you
feel no better than anyone else? Hate to break it to you, you're an NPC.

 

It would perhaps be nice to be that but I'm not. I would perhaps like to be more like "an ordinary person" than I am, but I'm not so sure how that could be achieved. When I was a child I was even "stranger". I didn't care at all what people thought about me, and could do anything on a whim. I was hardly an "NPC" then since the entire school new who I was. Also this about feeling special... I felt very special or even "chosen". In a way I was living my life in a fantasy world. I told people stories I made up, but I believed some of my own stories. With time I changed in some way. Perhaps I just grew up but I started to behave myself better, and also to feel things I hadn't really felt before. Like shame... I started to care about things I did, my appearance and so on. I wasn't bullied so much then but mean things people said could hurt me, whereas I before was unaffected. With time however some of my old behavior came back. Also feeling less shame. Today I do many things which most people would be very ashamed of doing, but I don't care. I am not sure but I think I was different already from the beginning. I had some "crisis" when I was very young and put into a preschool for "acting out" children. So i have changed in my life and left "something" behind, but not completely.

 

Denial. There's something wrong with everyone. It's simply a matter of gauging if it bothers you or not.

 

Of course there is something wrong with everyone. I am not without flaws. Basically i am pleased with how I am. Most problems I have are caused by some few (but very annoying) people. I actually think I'm an important person and anyone trying to prevent me from living a good life deserves to die a thousand deaths. I value myself very highly. This may sound "narcissistic" but it is the way I feel. I am a nice person but if someone messes with me they deserve to die. Simple as that.

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Wrong is a matter of perspective. I've had people love things I hate about myself, and hate things I love about myself.

Posts: 340
I am a...

Wrong is a matter of perspective. I've had people love things I hate about myself, and hate things I love about myself.

I agree. But then you are not like me because I hate nothing about myself. I can (after a long time) become annoyed with my own behavior. Like that I know that I will do the same "mistake" again (that I've done lots of times). Instead of improving I find ways to work around it.

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I'm glad I don't shield myself from myself.

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I don't either. I acknowledge some of my flaws but that doesn't mean I hate anything about myself. That my behavior causes (often only slight) problems not only for others but also for myself, started to annoy me after a while. That doesn't make me hate myself either.

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