Anyone have any examples of "good" sociopaths? I can't find any and most of it are from people who have been hurt by one or has heard of someone who has. Personally most of the time they deserve it for being so stupid. Use your brain.
I don't feel guilt or remorse, I don't feel other people's emotions (though I can see and understand them), and I don't feel anything when people I'm rather close to kick the bucket. From the number of "I's", you can see that I'm pretty narcissistic, though I make an effort to suppress it in person.
While this could indicate some level of primary psychopathy, I'm the polar opposite of most aspects of secondary psychopathy. I suffer from what I like to call PPD, or prosocial personality disorder. In essence, I'm so self-sacrificing that I will do good for others at great personal expense. My transgressions are small, and I only attempt them when discovery is nearly impossible, and even then I exercise an overabundance of caution.
Sociopaths aren't supposed to give a fuck about what others think of them, but I'm so chock-full of insecurity that making people like me is the primary driver behind all of my actions. Furthermore, I attempt to accomplish this through genuine goodwill towards the people around me, rather than through the use of deceit.
Am I a unicorn (prosocial sociopath)? I don't know. I find it rather easy to fit most labels that could describe someone with a personality disorder. Since being diagnosed with a personality disorder is never a good thing, I have to rely on self-diagnosis. Merely being aware of the aspects of a disorder allows me to define my personality within the context of that disorder, so I am unable to be objective. I have no sense of self.
Yeah, I understand that it should make me sad or something. I like these people well enough, or I wouldn't hang out with them, but their strong insistence that I maintain a relationship just isn't something I share. Most of the time I'd really rather just be on my own, but I get out more out of habit and social obligation than some need to be around other people.
A couple of my close friends are in their late 30's and 40's, and with them I think I have the things you're missing. I was 'in' so to speak, and I hadn't had that before with people my own age. You're quite bright and rather mature, so you might find kinship with people who are a bit older than you, assuming that most of your old friends were close to your own age. These guys that I know now, they've got my back, and even though I don't go out as often we keep in touch. When I'm in my 50's they might be in diapers, but for now we relate to each other pretty well!
Are they quite intelligent? I hate to sound misanthropic, but I feel that 90% of people you meet are incapable of connecting on that 'deeper' level you seek due to a lack of gray matter. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes when you get to know someone superficially and you try to dig deeper, you realize you've gone through inches of soil to hit bedrock.