Once upon a time there lived a girl named Luna. Luna was one of the luckiest girls in the world. She had youth, health, beauty, intellect, and was even lucky enough to be born into a financial envrionment capable of allowing her to not only realize, but achieve her wildest dreams.
Luna had big dreams too. She had no dreams of wealth, but instead only seen wealth as a tool with which to most easily and effectively achieve her true dreams of helping Humanity reach into the stars, and become something much greater.
The biggest enemy, though, of Luna, was time. She understood that she was mortal, and as a result, would inevitably die one day. This made no sense to Luna because the consciousness she felt deep in her heart wasn't bound to her mind or body, but existed in a realm she called the dream world. This dream world was very empty though. No one else seemed to live there. Only her, and it was lonely.
The idea of Luna's mortality made her impatient. It gave her a sense of urgency in completing her goals. It also made her feel very depressed at times when her life reached a point where no progress could be made. Luna would lie in her bed thinking of a way, any way to distract herself from the ever-persistant thoughts that her life was being wasted doing absolutely nothing. As a result of this, Luna could never immerse herself into any hobby or activity that didn't promise an underlying contribution to her cause.
This made Luna very distressed because she was young. In addition to her youth, she was lonely. She didn't believe in the idea of friendship. Though she felt that Humanity was good, and that people were nice and deserved to be happy, she didn't feel any relationship with them, and any time spent with them was considered, in her mind, to be wasted unless they were directly or indirectly contributing to her cause.
It's not that Luna didn't like people. It's that she didn't agree with the reality they created for themselves. She found it to be flawed, false, and contributing to an imperfect system of greed, and worked against the underlying values of what she felt was required to create harmony and understanding with the universe.
As a result of this, Luna alienated herself from human kind. Her parents, her family, her friends and peers, and immersed herself deeper into her own mind. With the assistance of data provided via the internet, Luna was free to discover, and explore human knowledge. To fabricate her own reality that explains the universe, and gives meaning to her own life.
The problem is that Luna realized she wasn't all that bright. She would never be an Einstein or Machivelli, or even an artist. She was impossible to indentify. To create a definition of herself.
She contemplated death and even souicide often. Not due to depression or sadness, but desperity. She knew she would never have the answers, and she also knew that each waking moment of her existance was filled with the stress that her life had no value in the eyes of the universe.
So one day Luna decided to kill herself.
She then reincarnated as an insignificant Ant who lived a life of ignorance, and happiness. The world was once again wonderful. There existed people with the answers to all her questions if only she could find them not becasue they were so smart, but becasue her questions were so basic. She had friends just like her who she could relate to, and laugh about cultural references with. She appreciated and enjoyed her time spent not working, and she died peacefull of old age surrounded by a family who loved her.
The end!!
P.S. This is fictional. A way to express myself. I'm not going to kill myself so don't worry! It does, however say a lot about how I feel, and the internal struggles I deal with everyday in my own mind!