Sociopath Community

by prometheusbound

... where you just go to chat is far more helpful than the groups that you  go to for actual coping with life. It's frustrating.

I find it funny how I get pushed to go to a group that is designed to help you express how you feel, and yet, everyone else's reactions to loss is somehow more acceptable than yours. They wanted to watch a documentary on september 11th and asked what I thought, and got mad when I was honest. I think that people have overreacted and need to try to move on.

Then someone responded that they lost people and assumed that I didn't, from their life during the attacks 13 years ago. Seriously? People do need to work through their losses, I held back from saying some mean things. Yet apparently.... Let's just say that there's been a pattern. The very thing I've been trying to explain to them from the getgo, that I'm trying to figure out how to get along with others, without making them defensive and not have conflict, they think I'm just now becoming aware of. What is this?

Did they ever stop to think that this is why I want to learn to tolerate being around people, enough to work around them? Did they ever stop to think that its why I don't like having people in my life, that they're more of a hassle than they are worth? I can't be myself around them, nor can I show my true feelings around them, in part because they're always going to be offended by them. There really isn't anything I can do to soften that, other than sacrifice that for the simple gain of not having conflicts when I need peace. It's not because I'm afraid to feel, nor of the other bullshit excuses I give. And you're right, I do talk about my feelings in metaphorical terms to describe them sometimes, that's because I can't always identify it, but also because I'm trying to convey that look, despite what it looks like, its not easy for me either.

I'm trying to make use of these groups to better myself. It's true I would've found other means if I didn't have to go because of my mandates, but I'm still going to work on me. Let's stop trying to assume I have other motives. I'm trying to play by your rules, the rules of society, but you make it very difficult.

It's sad though that a sociopath forum would be more therapeutic, than a group or even going to see a therapist, or other so-called professionals, in helping me figure my life out. I get to interact with people either way, and learn what I need.

I find it unhelpful that you tune me out, at least you finally admit that it is what you do, when I say something that is outside what is acceptable, to a question you pose. Yet you claim you still want to hear what I have to say.... You think I give a shit what you think? Outside of what would be helpful to changing my behaviors where helpful, not even a little.

You may struggle to hear and cope with my opinions and views when you ask me for them. You may think I'm guarded because I speak less in groups (I've been better for it). But at the end of the day, I realize that you don't like what I have to say, nor does half the people in there. But one thing I have that you people don't, is the ability to grasp just that. That sure... I don't like to hear what others have to say, but at least I have the decency in me to listen to others, something ya'll struggle with alot. Because you think others give a shit. Perhaps thats the core of your problem.

I had to rant. I have anger issues. lol.

If you didn't read this all the way through, or at all because its too long, who cares? If you did though, thanks. :D

I realize its long, its a rant, and I need to do that sometimes. It helps.

 Well. People get defensive if they feel you're being condescending toward them. Especially broken people in the groups you go to.

I argue this place isn't therapeutic in the least for people who have problems figuring out how to get along with others. People here are resilient to insults, yes, but they can't replace the real world people you're trying to get along with. Not the same experience, in my opinion.

 Still, I can see why you would feel freer in a forum where everyone's a jackass in one way or the other and don't get defensive as quick as traumatized people. That 9/11 thing still is a sensitive topic. My mother worked one block away from the scene when it happened. Max thing I felt was anxiety.

 I was in art therapy once. ONCE. Lol, I can't be in group therapies. The other people look at you as if you were the alien. It is sort of hilarious how even the broken peeps get all sensitive at you for trying to get better. You'd think you can finally relate to someone, then you find yourself just as reclusive.

The saddest part is that you can't just be yourself in those groups if you are afraid of making someone flip their shit at you. You have to suck it up and be quiet, nod, agree, listen. Become  a conformist.

From what I've heard left and right, mental health groups are really lame. I know I wouldn't tolerate one if I ever had to attend.

What I understand is that you just want acceptance for who you are. What others want, including those who think you need therapy, is you to change yourself. Personally, I don't think either thing can happen 100%. It's all about finding some balance, if you want to integrate and "learn to tolerate being around people, enough to work around them."

What do you find therapeuthic about this place, what is it that you need to learn, that you learn from here?

by malevo

 

by prometheusbound

 Well. People get defensive if they feel you're being condescending toward them. Especially broken people in the groups you go to.

I argue this place isn't therapeutic in the least for people who have problems figuring out how to get along with others. People here are resilient to insults, yes, but they can't replace the real world people you're trying to get along with. Not the same experience, in my opinion.

 Still, I can see why you would feel freer in a forum where everyone's a jackass in one way or the other and don't get defensive as quick as traumatized people. That 9/11 thing still is a sensitive topic. My mother worked one block away from the scene when it happened. Max thing I felt was anxiety.

 I was in art therapy once. ONCE. Lol, I can't be in group therapies. The other people look at you as if you were the alien. It is sort of hilarious how even the broken peeps get all sensitive at you for trying to get better. You'd think you can finally relate to someone, then you find yourself just as reclusive.

The saddest part is that you can't just be yourself in those groups if you are afraid of making someone flip their shit at you. You have to suck it up and be quiet, nod, agree, listen. Become  a conformist.

 I just naturally come acrossed as condescending. I used to have a solution to that, but making myself not appear overconfident by trying to appear undeconfident was even less helpful. I try to be a conformist, but then they don't see what I need help with either. I feel like I'm in an endless catch-22. I'd need to be dependant and broken emotionally to get a little bit of help it seems sometimes. I wish my being able to ask "what can I do instead in this situation?" was enough. And not have them try to have me change who I am, because the problem isn't "who I am", its "how me and people interact with one another".

It's in part because I don't want to be around people because I have to be fake. Its made me not like people. 

by Edvard

From what I've heard left and right, mental health groups are really lame. I know I wouldn't tolerate one if I ever had to attend.

What I understand is that you just want acceptance for who you are. What others want, including those who think you need therapy, is you to change yourself. Personally, I don't think either thing can happen 100%. It's all about finding some balance, if you want to integrate and "learn to tolerate being around people, enough to work around them."

What do you find therapeuthic about this place, what is it that you need to learn, that you learn from here?

 I don't care so much about acceptance, they can not like me all they want. I just want to be able to interact with them without conflict. Sure... it sets the bar low, but I have low expectations out of morons that make up most of the human race. You're right though, they are lame. It's that or go every week to talk to a shrink. My choices are limited because of certain mandates I have on me.

I find it useful in that I can interact with the types of people I offend the most. What I wish to gain from them, is to hear what offends them, and how I can avoid doing so so dramatically enough so that I can put up with them long enough to hold a job and support myself. So far, it's starting to look like that can't be avoided.... I'm not changing who I am, I'm not the one with the problem in those types of situations. People are hypersensitive. Sure, I can avoid discussing things when I know it will offend them, but if I don't know, I don't know. Especially when I'm asked, and yet am expected to have an already assumed answer.

Honestly, I think that the problem is that people have been taught to focus so much on being offended, that we've raised a country of oversensitive babies.

So, you basically want a therapy group to teach you basic social norms and etiquette? I mean, I know the US and other countries as well have pushed this "politically corectness" into ridiculous, but if so many retard Americans can go on with their lives avoiding too much conflict and trouble, then what you lack shouldn't be that difficult to learn.

When I asked what you find therapeutic about this place, and what it's teaching you that you need to learn (your own words), I meant this forum... Still curious about that.

by Edvard

So, you basically want a therapy group to teach you basic social norms and etiquette? I mean, I know the US and other countries as well have pushed this "politically corectness" into ridiculous, but if so many retard Americans can go on with their lives avoiding too much conflict and trouble, then what you lack shouldn't be that difficult to learn.

When I asked what you find therapeutic about this place, and what it's teaching you that you need to learn (your own words), I meant this forum... Still curious about that.

 What this forum helps me with, is that I see that I'm not the only one who feels this way. That's about it, that and being able to vent without people getting offended. It's the small stuff that counts.

Honestly, I'm probably best off hurrying up getting my writing going and leaving the country. Going to a place where people aren't so damn neurotic (I know I'm misusing the term... but I could always misuse the term histrionic instead....).

Truth is, I know what I need to do. It won't help me last at a job in this society of selfentitled folks, but it'll certainly help me wonders... I do gotta work on my not getting angry and frustrated and annoyed dealing with people, and not give into the temptations that I give into at times. I'm willing to admit that I'm far from innocent. Though at other times, I might need to figure out how to not put people on guard by not reacting as well.

I've noticed in more mundane situations, that aren't really conflicts, my silence and lack of response sometimes puts people on guard as well. Not sure why. But they get feeling really awkward until reassured.

I'm going to continue to try to be more silent in the groups. I'm going to try my best to figure things out. When I get a job that I'm able to keep stable, I'll also be in a new apartment hopefully, and not need to go to these.

I don't always know what the problem people have with me is, as I don't know what their perceptions of me are. They have trouble connecting with me I've been told.  I draw them in because I'm very persuasive I was told, but then I push them away. Sometimes by not interacting or wanting to, sometimes by the things  I say. They don't get that the assumptions are that they make, that my approaches and ideas are all wrong, because they conflict with theirs, and they leave little room for a second opinion. I don't have an interest interacting with people on their terms.

I also don't always see a straightforward solution. Well... admittingly, one that I want. I'll admit that if I gave up being myself all the time, I'd be getting along with them as well as I was when manipulating people. Though I don't want to have to bother. I want to live my life my way. I don't even know what my issues are when I do have issues.