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Being told you draw people in and push people away


Posts: 300

Do you ever get told this? That people are drawn to you but that you push them away?

 

I still don't know what the person meant by this. Though it is the first time a clinician has told me this, but its the first time a clinician has seen me in social situations too though. She says that I seem to have put defense mechanisms up, which might be true, but what are they? How come I'm not aware of this?

And further, what if I'm not interested in getting close? What if I don't percieve them as wanting to get close? Then I just distance myself from them, is that then pushing them away? Or is that simply people not wanting to form friendships with people in mental health groups, for a desire to not relapse or just be drawn down by them?

Or perhaps I project my own lack of interest onto others?

Posts: 7645
Being told you draw people in and push people away

People have told me they felt drawn to me. I don't usually push them away though unless I feel like they're invading my personal space.

I have some trust issues and I value my privacy quite a lot.

Posts: 7645
Being told you draw people in and push people away

 

by prometheusbound

Or perhaps I project my own lack of interest onto others?

 I think you push people away for the same reason I do, because you don't trust them.

Posts: 21
Being told you draw people in and push people away

 

by Thrill Kill

 

by prometheusbound

Or perhaps I project my own lack of interest onto others?

 I think you push people away for the same reason I do, because you don't trust them.

 Because you think they are like you?

Posts: 7645
Being told you draw people in and push people away

Yes. I know what I'm like. Knowing I'm like that, so could anyone else be.

Posts: 103
Being told you draw people in and push people away

If you think someone is untrustworthy, why not reel them in and double bluff them?

Posts: 605
Being told you draw people in and push people away

Yes. I've been told, and I can see it too.
Like a seashore. :o

Posts: 7645
Being told you draw people in and push people away

If they have no value to me, why bother.

Posts: 103
Being told you draw people in and push people away

Everyone has their value, you just need to look a little closer. You said that you have "trust issues?"

Posts: 193
Being told you draw people in and push people away

 

by a friend

Everyone has their value

 Not really.

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