Sociopath Community

You my gal have testtaketoomuchandasktoomanyfucking question syndrome.  And herpes with a side of yeast infection.

I'm not sure what test taking and herpes has to do with any of this, but it sounds contagious.

Now, can we get back on track or are all you too normal to respond to this thread in the way I asked?

I agree entirely.

I have Schizoid personality disorder (Knowing this, I will only bother saying what actually impacts on my real life):

• I spend more than half of my life day-dreaming
• Sometimes I find it difficult to tell the difference between my dreams and my waking life.
• I am apathetic to other peoples problems, I am known as a callous and hurtful person.
• Love and friendship is one-sided: I take what I want from my  'friends' and 'lovers' and make no attempt to sustain the relationship.
• I swing wildly from inflexible morality to amorality. In one moment I am helping someone, the next moment I have stolen and hung the neighbours cat.

I have schizotypal tendencies:

• Sensory illusions. I frequently feel like spiders, moths, and cockroaches are crawling on my skin.
• Distant noises often sound like voices.
• I often experience the perception of my body proportions changing.
• I believe I can read minds (I can't really, but I feel like I can).
• I experience deja vu alot, usually two to five times in a day.
• I am very paranoid about other people.

I'm not sure if this is related to what we discussed in chat but for whatever its worth I do believe that you were diagnosed with a personality disorder. But since you don't really talk about your life much, I have no idea how it affects your life. I'm guessing that at your age, most of the extreme impulsivity has settled down a bit and you probably have a relatively stable life where your disorder mostly just affects interpersonal relationships.

Do you have any desire to be less disordered? Are there certain parts of your life that you see as negatively affected by your aspd traits that you want to improve?

True 'dat. But I would say that psychopathy encompasses a series of dysfunctional defense mechanisms, combined with hereditary traits and epigenetic markers which are accumulated through one's lifetime- particularly within childhood- which have a biological impact that we are only beginning to understand. I am also intrigued by the structural differences in the psychopathic brain. My father very likely has a frontal lobe malformation, as he suffers from dysgraphia and some form of dyslexia. I don't think he was ever "officially" diagnosed, but the man spent seven years in jail for ripping a part of someone's anatomy off... He fits the bill in virtually every other way, too, so I'm pretty sure he's a psycho.

Amygdala dysfunction also plays a role. TK, out of curiosity, do you have a greatly diminished or non-existent startle reflex?

There are many environmental, genetic, and epigenetic factors at work.

That's very interesting. The schizoid one sounds almost exactly like me (well, not entirely, but close). I'm more social than your average schizoid though. Online I am anyway. I would be more social off the net too if most real life conversations didn't bore me so much.

I have AsPD, psychopathic and narcissistic traits as well, which I think are fairly obvious.

by Alterego

Amygdala dysfunction also plays a role. TK, out of curiosity, do you have a greatly diminished or non-existent startle reflex?

Non-existent? No. Greatly diminished? Yes. I've seen my daughter and other people jump at things that didn't startle me at all, but I'm not a psychopath anyway. I'm really just a sociopath. I believe I was made this way by my upbringing, not born this way.

Cluster B personality disorders tend to run in families. My dad's brother was diagnosed with schizotypal and schizoid personality disorders. He likely had a genetic predisposition which was exacerbated by my father's repeated torture of his siblings as a child. It is always a combination of nature and nurture.

Even though I was diagnosed with personality disorders, I don't see myself as disordered because how I am is pretty much how I've always been. Of course, everybody changes to some degree over time, but certain parts of my personality have remained the same.

For example: All my life I've never been an emotional person, nor have I ever desired to bond with others. I've been that way for as long as I can remember. I don't feel like I need to change because how I am is 'normal' to me.

The parts of my life that have been negatively affected by Aspd is...

...(or was rather) my inability to hold down a job due to irresponsibility.

...I've also been in debt due to being irresponsible with money. Money is in one hand and out the other with me. I have  a tendency to give in to temptation at times.

 ...I have issues with authority figures because I hate anybody telling me what to do or not to do. When someone tells me to do something I want to do the opposite just to spite them, which has gotten me into quite a bit of trouble in the past and will likely do so again at some point in the future.

...I have a tendency to repeat the same mistakes. Not because I can't learn how to avoid them. I simply don't care to. I will do something if I believe I can get away with it and if I get caught, then I'll just find another way of doing the same thing, and if it gets me caught again, I'll just find a different way. Punishment doesn't deter me.

...I have zero remorse for anything I've done which is also probably why I never seem to learn from my mistakes.

...I've been in numerous fights over the years due to aggression and done other reckless things because sometimes my flight response doesn't kick in when it should. There are times where I've taken on people who were much stronger than me, which only lead to more trouble.

Anyway, that's just my AsPD traits. If I wanted to add all of the psychopathy ones as well, this list would be much longer.