Sociopath Community

Because there's a lack of empathy it's hard for the SP to relate to people so 'faking it' or manipulating is necessary to pull people in. Also, because SPs don't have any problem lying, it's very natural for them to do so and people often (at first anyway) fall for this. I think that is what is meant by the lure. 

But does this ability to lie necessarily mean there has to always be this dastardly master plan with victims left in the wake?

I don't think so. Most of the time the SP is only thinking about their own personal gain. Victims are just casualties of war, not necessarily planned for, although a lot of SPs do enjoy ruining others. ;)

O ok yeah, that's the impression I got too.  

I don't understand how not being able to connect with human beings=destructiveness.  Like I have empathy so that prevents me from inflicting needless pain on other people and animals (living creatures who I am aware are having a negative experience.)  But there are many things I encounter in everyday life I don't have empathy for but I don't have an urge to destroy.. like kitchen appliances for example, maybe some people think breaking spatulas is awesome, but it's not widely enjoyed because it's like what's the point..?  

I guess I don;t understand where the pleasure is derived from inflicting pain on someone.. like seeing their reaction and being in control of them, but why wouldn't there be this same drive to give flowers to someone for example and see them react positively..?

Hmmm, that's a really interesting point. I'm sure others can answer far better than me. I think part of it is that the sense of self is weak, so the power and control over others is somehow personally validating for some. And the destruction part comes from a deep sense of envy towards others ability to feel and live in the world wholly. And destroying that negates it to some degree.  

Hmmm yeah, maybe it's this deep esoteric subconcious Freudian thing none of us understand haha.  I think a lot of people with empathy struggle with a weak sense of self as well.. particularly people with anti-social parents ;).  I think of empathy more as losing yourself in others.. but I guess to be able to relate to people you have to bounce it off yourself and your own emotions so you might be on to something there haha.  Thanks for your candid response! :)  

Well they don't lie because they care about people.

1. Manipulation is just being able to orient situations and people to achieve maximum benefit to yourself. It requires awareness, adaptation, and knowledge of how to combine the two most effectively. Like any other learned skill, it's a matter of natural affinity and practice.

2. Victims of con artists are likely to view the person who exploited them as some sort of superhuman mastermind because the other option is to view themselves as an idiot who made incredibly terrible decisions.

3. Empathy is potentially more destructive than sociopathy.

“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them...I destroy them.”

-Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game

Very interesting, and very good points.  

I think you articulated things I couldn't put my finger on, like I think definitely number 2s the case because people who are going to be motivated and driven to post someone online about sociopaths are going to be the ones ruthlessly victimized and most deeply and personally affected so thats going to be the popularized association.    

I do notice highly empathetic people tend to rationalize cruel behavior, like the abused spouse stereotype, and this I think can obscure reality and provide a smokescreen.. there's also this tendency to avoid confrontation which I think plays into the sociopaths hands?  Ive read things online that advocate total avoidance and passivity as the best counter to typical sociopathic victimization.. it seems to me this makes it easier for an aggressor to do whatever they want with less fear of being exposed, and facing consequences that might inconvenience their self-gratification.. (to #3)

I like your definition of manipulation too, I never thought of it that way before as being directly related to purely maximizing selfish interest.