Sociopath Community

My brother is a narcissistic egomaniacal sociopath. He's also a ruthless criminal, and has been for over twenty years. When he was young he was a pretty good kid, but that all changed when he turned 15. That's when he started doing drugs and hanging out with lowlifes.

 Male sociopaths generally exhibit antisocial traits from a very young age. This guy's behavioural problems commenced when he began taking drugs as a teenager. Are you certain the drugs themselves are not the main cause for his behaviour?

During his eighth grade and part of his ninth grade years he was very popular, attended church and was a star athlete that dated cheerleaders exclusively. We were all very proud of him and I took that pride with me when I left the country. 

Yeah, you gotta be proud of someone who restricts his social interactions to the right class, huh? Then this happened...

Shortly after I left my brother began to use hard drugs, stole money by the thousands of dollars, sold many of my family's valuables, stole and maxed out their credit cards, threw and attended wild parties and got the school skank pregnant. 

Your brother willingly copulated with this girl, so getting her pregnant is no more or less worse than getting a cheerleader pregnant. You seem extraordinarily conservative.

Today he is in his mid thirties and nothing has changed. Just in the last few months he has broken into my family's storage unit and stolen everything he could get at least $10 for as well as taking my parents for another $20,000 - $30,000 in legal fees and lawyers (my parents won't tell exactly how much) for two drug arrests. He continues to run his scams on my parents, other family members, friends, neighbors and his landlord. In our homes, especially my parents' home, we have to hide everything of value behind strong, locked doors or they will be stolen.

Nothing is likely to change. If his behaviour is attributable to drug addiction, he may benefit from rehabilitation. If he's a sociopath, it won't.

Whether or not your brother is a sociopath, you're only going to cause yourself unnecessary hardship by continuing to involve yourself with him. I'd end all contact with him. Should your parents choose not to follow suit, that's their prerogative.

by Che

 Many people start doing drugs either to fit in with their peers or to numb pain. I can't imagine a sociopath needing to do either of these things.

 People do drugs for many reasons. Sociopaths do them because they have an insatiable need to stimulation, be that stimulation external or internal. Most sociopaths are either addicted to drugs or abusing them.

It looks like your brother is a typical drug addict. You say his drug of choice is meth? That can bring out some of the worst behavior. He didn't act like a "sociopath" when he was younger so he probably isn't one. I find it difficult to advice you because the picture you present of your brother before he became a dope fiend strikes me as insufferable. I like the speed freak better than the uptight, upright jock and his stuck up cheerleaders. I heartily concur with Helena's comments on this subject. It's also funny you came to Sociopath World to get advice on what to do about the "evil sociopath" in your family. I was a speed freak for two separate periods in my life and I had a lot of fun but realized I would have to get off while I was still reasonably intact. Your brother will have to want to recover from his addiction before it will happen. Punitive legal measures won't work. 

My advice to you: stop enabling him. And get your family to stop enabling him. The more he is enabled, the less reason he has to quit. As Helena said, you have to cut your ties with him will he is using. He will only drag you down with him. When he is ready to quit, the 12 Steps programs are usually effective.

HOOOHHHHHHHHHH

by confusedvictim

My brother is a narcissistic egomaniacal sociopath. He's also a ruthless criminal, and has been for over twenty years. When he was young he was a pretty good kid, but that all changed when he turned 15. That's when he started doing drugs and hanging out with lowlifes. At that time I left the country for a couple of years doing volunteer service and my family kept me in the dark about this emerging sociopath. About a year after I left my father retired from the military and my family moved to another state. I was finally informed near the end of my service abroad the reason why they moved and all the awful news about the chaos and pain my brother had caused.

During his eighth grade and part of his ninth grade years he was very popular, attended church and was a star athlete that dated cheerleaders exclusively. We were all very proud of him and I took that pride with me when I left the country. Eighteen months later I got a letter from my parents explaining a lot of things and I was so heartbroken that I understood why they waited that long to tell me.

Shortly after I left my brother began to use hard drugs, stole money by the thousands of dollars, sold many of my family's valuables, stole and maxed out their credit cards, threw and attended wild parties and got the school skank pregnant. Turns out that one of the main reasons why they left California was to get my brother out of that environment. Twenty years later and my parents still haven't told me the majority of the details.

Unfortunately moving to another state didn't help. Although this is a very religious state my brother still managed to quickly find the bad crowd, and resumed his madness. Over the last twenty years I estimate several hundred thousand dollars have been stolen from my family, particularly my parents, through theft of cash, credit cards, stolen property, fraud and scams. A great deal of that has been from paying all his legal bills, including bail, fines, lawyers,compensation and other bills from all the crimes he has committed. There's no way of knowing how much more he has stolen from people outside my family. He's been arrested for many drug crimes, violent crimes, theft, burglary, forgery and others that have been kept secret from me that happened while I was living in another state or country.

Today he is in his mid thirties and nothing has changed. Just in the last few months he has broken into my family's storage unit and stolen everything he could get at least $10 for as well as taking my parents for another $20,000 - $30,000 in legal fees and lawyers (my parents won't tell exactly how much) for two drug arrests. He continues to run his scams on my parents, other family members, friends, neighbors and his landlord. In our homes, especially my parents' home, we have to hide everything of value behind strong, locked doors or they will be stolen.

He has completely abandoned his children and most don't want anything to do with him. His favorite phrase is "go and get it from your grandparents". He seems content spending all his free time drinking and doing drugs with other criminals and prostitutes, when he isn't stealing. He lives in a known meth house that has already been condemned at least once by the police department, but has no problem keeping things he "borrows" from people there. His next door neighbors keep their eyes on his house, and all his stolen loot when he's not home. I still haven't figured out if they are knowingly assisting him with his crimes or if he has duped them like he has almost everyone else in his life.

I have been doing a lot of internet research and my brother is a textbook sociopath, egomaniac and narcissist. When I read articles about sociopathy I could as well be reading my brother's biography. He fits the descriptions down to the letter. The problem is that my parents, his biggest victims refuse to admit there's a problem. They try to (legally) cover up his crimes and won't do anything to prevent his future crimes. Some of my family members and I have tried to talk some sense into them to no avail. They seem to enjoy being victims, or they're so used to it that they don't even give it a second thought anymore. They are also deathly afraid of him because they know what he is capable of.

What I don't know is whether he was born this way or if drugs or society have turned him into the monster he has become. He was raised in a large family by very good, religious parents and always had what he needed growing up. My parents believe it was drugs that turned him into what he is, and I partly agree with that. Over the last twenty years I can only think of one small period of time (besides the time he spent in prison) that he wasn't on drugs. It was after one of his many drug convictions when he had to give a court mandated urine sample three or four times a week for about eighteen months if I remember right.

During that time he was mellow, got along well with all of us and stayed out of trouble. As soon as his probation was over he went right back to drugs and criminal behavior. After his latest drug conviction a few months ago he spent a few weeks in jail before they mysteriously let him out. While in there he sent out a bunch of cheesy letters to my family members, including me, containing sorrowful apologies and pretty good art work. On my letter he drew something pretty cool and wrote "Friends come and go, brothers are forever". I still haven't figured out if he was serious or running another of his scams. Whether or not he was sincere at the time, I knew that as soon as he got out he would be back to his old criminal, sociopathic ways and I didn't fall for it. Neither did his parents or children. Sure enough, straight out of jail he was back to stealing, lying, scamming and threatening violence.

I lay much of the blame for his behavior on the incompetent and often corrupt local law enforcement and court system. It's still a mystery to us how he got out of serving time in prison on his latest drug arrest. All of our sources said he would be convicted and would serve at least thirteen months in prison. Then all of a sudden he was released and I haven't even heard mention of a court date. Apparently part of it had to do with the fortune my parents spent on his lawyer and part of it was that he agreed to inform on his drug sources. But with his infamous silver tongue I think he lied and charmed his way out of it as he has done so many times in the past.

He will continue to commit crimes and hurt people because he knows that 99 out of 100 times in the past he has gotten away with it. He has almost always been able to lie his way out of everything and other than a couple of prison sentences and a drug court probation sentence the only people that get punished for his crimes are his parents. They are not wealthy but they always find a way to pay for everything and he receives virtually no punishment. This will never end. Why can't the court system see that the one time he had court mandated drug tests he stayed out of trouble? He is just a very street smart and talented sociopath.

So what can we do to stop him and other criminal sociopaths? In our case my parents refuse to turn him in for his countless crimes and threaten to disown their other children if they get the cops involved. Do we just continue being victims for the rest of our lives? Do we have to just sit back and watch as he fleeces our parents out of everything they have for the rest of their lives? How can a good kid turn into an evil sociopathic criminal with no conscience so quickly?

Presently he is tearing our family apart with his outrageous lies and scams and has turned everyone in my family against each other. Some of us want to try and stop this chaos, others keep their distance and my parents tell us to keep our mouths shut, give up on trying to get our stolen stuff back from him and are content to just allow it to continue. The cops are completely worthless. My family is being destroyed by one evil sociopath.

we probably all got adhd so walls of text=bad