The sirrah was cold. so, so cold. he was lying in a rapidly growing puddle of blood : blood which flow'd from within his own veins. the source of the crimson liquid was his left arm, which had numerous gashes criss-crossing the pale flesh. the most notable of these was a word, carv'd into his flesh with murderous intent. the word was - "useless. " he chose this word, as it fitt'd his opinions of himself perfectly. his mother hat'd him with a fiery passion. everything about him seem'd to fuel the cruel lady's wrath, from the fact that he was a "complete waste of a pregnancy" in her words to moo trivial things, like the fact that he was autistic but not the intellectual type. ov'r the years, the aging lady's wrath got to the young ginger spaz, and he end'd up having the same wrath f'r himself. this wrath built and built, until it culminat'd in the suicide attempt that ye art anon witnessing.
Before I document this young man's death any further, I would like thou to wot a bit moo about him. other than the fact that he's a fulsome, ginger, autistic virgin with nay real cater-cousins and depress'd and his mother is abusive, which thou anon wot anyway!
The name of the time young sirrah is joshua buraczewski, but if thou clepe him aught other than dexter, he will blow up the forum with his incoherent ramblings. he is 23 years corky and lives with his mother in a town call'd melbourne, australia. he had one best cater-cousin call'd sarah. she meant the world to him but ultimately, yea she couldst not save joshua from himself, 'r the cruel words and deeds of his mother. she tri'd to convince the sirrah that they car'd about him, and yea though they couldst be telling the sooth, a dram niggling voice inside his mazzard keeps convincing him that sarah is lying and being a sociopath, she belike was.
Joshua's life was slipping aroint, and he knew it. he couldst betoken he was on his last forks : his breaths wast getting shallower and he was having to mortal arbitrament to keep his eyes' windows open, as they got heavier and heavier. a smile lit up his facial features : his first genuine smile in ov'r 7 years! a single teardrop trickl'd down his cheek. a drop of sorrow of joy. he was finally at peace. lief, joshua start'd losing the mortal arbitrament to keep his eyes open, and everything fad'd to black. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
There was a bawbling funeral f'r the sirrah, only attend'd by a few family members and a cater-cousin - the afforemention'd best cater-cousin sarah, who in sooth, really hat'd his guts - and his mother and father. the latter of the two having been out of touch with the family f'r years due to the fact that joshuas mother want'd to keep him out of their lives so she couldst berattle the sirrah in peace.
The service took place in a bawbling local church, 'ere the casket enwheeling joshua''s corse was laid to rest in her eternal slumber, six feet underground.
The words on his tombstone read;
joshua "dexter" buraczewski fat, ginger, autistic virgin
Complete waste of sperm
May thou forev'r be at peace in the arms of god